Things to remember

Never tell the pharmacist that the reason you need a coagulant drug is because you had an abortion.

If you're studying veterinary medicine at UC Davis, don't get knocked up.

Overzealous prosecutors love that fraud known as facilitated communication. It doesn't seem to work for people in persistent vegetative states, though.

Religious financial fraud is a $34 billion business.

Faith healer and consummate fraud Benny Hinn has a fan who's a narcissistic poseur. I'm not sure which is worse.

Leave exorcisms in Russia to the professionals.

Sex education is "an attack on religious freedom"

You'll be thrilled to know that the previous Pope is on the fast track to sainthood based on a (requisite) miracle that sounds like a testimonial from Pat Robertson's 700 Club. Here's one I'll never forget. An old woman was out working in her vegetable garden when she suddenly realized she'd been poisoned by pesticides. She didn't feel good so she went inside, turned on the TV, and there was Pat Robertson having a "word of knowledge" that someone was being healed of poisoning. What are the odds?? She called their 800 number and told them about her miraculous healing. They sent a camera crew out and taped her testimonial. So there you have it. A sure-nough miracle. Too bad he's not Catholic, he's missing out on a sainthood.

Of course, at no time during any of this did she have medical examination. But you wouldn't think a lonely old lady with no friends would make something like this up, do you?

Patently insane

I've seen plenty of wacky patents over the years. Here's a hilarious series of books on the topic:

• Patently Ridiculous
• Patently Erotic
• Patently Christmas

But then today this showed up (transcribed verbatim, mistakes in original):

SUMMARY OF THE INVENTION

[0008] It is another principle object of the invention; to provide the present Human Community, being sadomasochistic by nature; (re: cruel world, death and taxes; master-slave; cop-robber; landlord-tennant; schoolmaster-pupil; boss-worker etc.); with a more fun and better, self-supporting prolonged Child Culture having Robot Parents and energy sources to empower the same; (re: Man and machine), the inventor believes that this is the next progression in Human development, wherein government makes its own tax es from gold coins tansmutated from neutron bombarded lead and engineers a sort of made-made heaven; wherein the work is play and fun, inpart. Psychoanalysis shows that the 3 main issues that human beings deal with are issues of 1) Power, (food, heat, etc.) 2) Sex Gratification, (creation of children) 3)Security from Death. (religion takes anxiety, relief, peace ect.) because they have survival value. This invention attempt provide human beings with issues; (1)Power, and a little more of issue (3)Security from Death.

Another suitable case for treatment. Click the images to see the entire pages. Just glancing through the whole thing I see what appear to be nuclear reactors and vacuum tubes.

Along similarly disturbed lines, here's a classic from the 90's—the famous "the world's most mentally ill resumé:

Another schizophrenic wandering the streets of America. Note that I had to go to the Wayback Machine to find that one.

Are you a crackpot inventor? Take the test.

The passion of Sarah

It took political dog whistle Governor Sarah Palin just a few days to come up with a response to the Tucson die-in. A measured, professional response. That just happens to use incredibly inflammatory terminology that doesn't remotely apply. I'm sure it was completely by accident, something that was well-scripted in the heat of the moment.

She's a bit piqued because on-line and in the press she's been tainted with the unholy brush of collective blame. As it turns out the shooter isn't a resident of Beckistan but rather a looney's loony who, among other things, denies the reality of the space program and makes the readers of conspiracy web sites laugh. She's absolutely correct—collective blame is bad. Unless of course you're talking about Muslims. Then it's A-OK.

But Sarah isn't the only unfortunate caught in the web of false accusation. Consider the case of the poor, frightened co-founder of the Tucson chapter of the Tea Party:

...Trent Humphries says there is another innocent victim left by Jared Lee Loughner's killing of six people and wounding of 14 others in his assassination attempt against Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. It is his Tea Party movement and, more particularly, his family. The killings, he says, are evolving into a conspiracy to destroy his organisation and silence criticism of the government.

Funny thing about dog whistles. They work even if your dog is tone deaf. And once again we see that assassins always have three names.

Be sure to click on all the pictures.

Daily Show not PC

The Daily Show (with Jon Stewart) has weighed in on the Huck Finntroversy. I think they get it.

Speaking of stereotypes, you've probably heard of the fabled "Jewish-American princess", but have you ever heard of the "Chinese mother"?

Straight talk from a hard right-wing eugenicist Rabbi:

Rabbi Dov Lior says Jewish Law prohibits sterile couples from conceiving using non-Jew's sperm, as it causes adverse traits. On subject of single mothers he says, 'Child cannot be 100% normal'

The secular-world-blaming, pedo-crazy Pope has come out against parents giving their children "non-Christian" names. He's right about fashion trends—give him points for stating the bleeding obvious.

There's a "death tax" you won't hear conservatives bitching about any time soon—it only hurts the poor.

Are you morbidly obese? Boston has an ambulance built just for you.

I've waited for years for an excuse to post that narcissistic Rand-tard Pam Geller's video. How do you like her new aquarium?

Wakefield strike two

I wrote earlier this week about the latest hurt put on Dr. Andrew Wakefield. Today another shoe dropped:

The truly ironic thing about the Wakefield affair is that, when it all comes down to it, it appears to have been largely about the money right from the very beginning. There might have been some genuine scientific curiosity early on, but it's obvious that it was rapidly corrupted by Richard Barr and then by the lure of making lots of money selling tests whose results would fuel Barr's lawsuits against vaccine manufacturers. From very early on, Wakefield showed an entrepreneur's aggressiveness in pursuing deals to make money off of his fraudulent research...  Meanwhile, his defenders have been deploying and will continue to deploy the pharma shill gambit against those who criticize Wakefield for his fraudulent research and his stoking the fires of an anti-vaccine scare that has done real harm in the U.K. by leading to a massive resurgence in measles cases. To them, it's all a conspiracy by big pharma and the government to "suppress" Wakefield's "truth" and protect their profits. That Wakefield was in it for the money doesn't affect their world view on bit. He's still their patron saint.

Respectful Insolence

Not surprisingly, spokesmodel Jenny McCarthy came roaring to his defense at that den of woo, HuffPo.

I'm a bit fuzzy today and my memory has failed me. I read somewhere (I can't recover the link) that only four (or so) of the twelve children in Wakefield's "study" developed signs of autism after being vaccinated. The rest showed signs before being vaccinated or were never diagnosed as autistic at all. Statistical bankruptcy. All attempts to replicate Wakefield's results have failed. And it's been over twelve years.

RatCave Gun Club

There's been a spike in sales of Glock19's for some odd reason.

Superior sarcasm—"Maybe they could pass a law that would require that every child have an Uzi in their crib."

“Palmetto State Armory would like to honor our esteemed congressman Joe Wilson with the release of our new ‘You Lie’ AR-15 lower receiver”

 It's a limited edition of 999—get yours today.

Update—it appears the Palmetto State Armory has scrubbed everything from their site. A search turned up nothing. FORTUNATELY, it's cached right here. I think I'll include the other picture here while I'm at it:

'An aide to Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.) tells CBS News that the Indiana Republican plans to introduce legislation next week that would encase the House Gallery in "a transparent and substantial material" such as Plexiglas that would keep members of the public from being able to throw explosives or make other attacks on members on the House floor.'

Here's what twit Andrew Brietbart tweeted today: "I think we should blame 'Natural Born Killers'. Or Rap music. Oh yeah, we're not allowed to correlate leftist propaganda w inciting action." Woah. I wish I could articulate a non-sequiter as well as you, Andy. Keep up the juvenile pranks and avoiding looking into mirrors. You've found your niche.

I think we should blame African Americans and South Park...

Comedy gold. Keep on polishin', Andy.

Gonna buy me a graveyard of my own

kill everyone who ever done me wrong

gonna buy me a gun just as long as my arm

kill everyone who ever done me harm

For The Love Of Ivy—Jeffrey Lee Pierce, The Gun Club

Tucson lead-slinging

Unless your cell phone's been dead for the last few days you're probably already had enough of the wall-to-wall coverage of the latest shoot-em-up in Dallas, er, Tucson, Arizona...

"...suddenly we're concerned that it is rude and politicizing a tragedy to point out that the right wing has produced a toxic atmosphere that pollutes our politics with hatred and the rhetoric of violence? Screw that. Now is the time to politicize the hell out of this situation"—PZ Myers

As it happens, one lone media personality has actually apologized for going overboard with his rhetoric. He'll probably be the last.

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin's facebook page has a rapid-response team of negative comment scrubbers working overtime. But there's one off-color remark strangely overlooked. How refreshing.

For those who just came off an opium jag, here's a creepy mug shot of the shooter along with some other interesting details. Here's his YouTube channel. When I first looked at it the clips only had a few hundred views. His myspace and facebook pages are long gone.

Self-certified ophthalmologist Dr. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) has diagnosed the Tucson shooter as paranoid schizophrenic. I had no idea he styled himself a psychiatrist as well. I wonder if he ever gave a neurological diagnosis of Terry Schiavo?

A nine year old girl (born 9/11/2001) was killed. Guess who's coming to her funeral?

Naturally, some idiot in Congress has called for an unconstitutonal law criminalizing political hate speech.

Historical note: some Puerto Ricans shot up the House of Representatives back in 1954.

Most insane part of writing this entry: doing a search of "right wing violence" on Google Images and finding the "surgeon's photo" of the Loch Ness monster on page six. But I also found this (probably copyrighted so I won't post it here) cartoon that sums it up nicely.

"The death of one is a tragedy, the death of millions just a statistic"—Marilyn Manson

Vinyl madness

For years I've collecting oddball LPs. There's nothing like scoring one with the title "How To Enjoy Your New Outboard Motor" or another sporting wild cover artwork. I'd dub and scan some of them for you if I had the time and patience (which I don't) but fortunately there's already a lot of stuff online. Note that there is some duplication here  but it's worth your time to check them all out. Bust a gut...

The above picture is from "The Worst Album Covers EVER!!"

Then there's The Dana Countryman collection

"World's Worst Album Covers"

Museum Of Bad Album Covers

This blog has a lot of odd stuff as MP3s (you'll have to search around):

The site with the worst black metal album covers seems to have disappeared (there was one featuring a lead singer all dolled up in leather and studs with his rather small penis hanging out). Fortunately, the "Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics Of All Time" is still around (the captions are hysterical but no phallic shots—sorry):

Well, Abbath's pants do look unzipped here...