Friday, October 26, 2012

Our Wacky World—10/26/2012

I wonder what happened to all those fake news sites selling Acai berries?

Here's some asshole doing the feeble Christian "The gays are taking my rights away" speech. Oh wait, he isn't an asshole after all (watch it all the way to the end). Now that's how it's done.

Top of the list
Here's a real hole-of-ass, Bryan "Douche" Fischer, getting the boot on live TV. I guess he'll go Mike Huckabee's radio show to complain. Elsewhere in wingnut land, conservative "scholar" Dinesh D’Souza has lost his cozy job. Even more amusing, here's what his (now ex) fiance has to say about women in America:
"In one blog post...she argued, amongst other things, that women’s suffrage was a terrible mistake. Well, 'argued' might be stretching it: the post is a long, barely coherent, free-associational rant laced not only with internalized misogyny but with racism and homophobia to boot."

Asked by reporters after the debate if he was saying that it’s never medically necessary to conduct an abortion to save the life of a mother, Walsh responded, “Absolutely. With modern technology and science, you can't find one instance... There is no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing.”

"Using the same PhD tested theological method I successfully defended in my PhD dissertation, I have developed a way to help you see the invisible spirits ruling in the heart of the 44th President."
Dispatches From The Culture Wars

PhD tested? Is that something like UL listed only with more circular reasoning?

How to make millions off of idiots:
"He had invented a pseudo-scientific theory he called 'global scaling', which he said allowed him to use gravitational waves to prevent electronic smog, use novel methods of scanning to be applied in medicine, and transmit 'information without any limits in quantity, quality or time'."

Climate Trolls—An Illustrated Bestiary:
"Some will pray [sic] on your admitted ignorance or uncertainty. Some will pray [sic] on your subconscious wish that climate change not be real or if it is, it will be benign. Some will seem to engage sincerely but seek only to lure you so deep into the rabbit hole you will be unable to return. Some will dazzle you with words so long and unfamiliar and thoughts so obscure and eccentric that you’ll feel you must believe. Some will simply badger and harass you until you can take no more. It is a harsh and dangerous world. This is why I wish to provide you a guide to these many and varied beings you will surely come across as you venture ever deeper into their native realm."
A Few Things Ill Considered

So Reddit's biggest troll got outed. Cue the inevitable howls of hypocrisy:
"All of a sudden, defense of 'free speech' became a secondary concern for Reddit management and they banned linking to Gawker from the site. Leaked text of Reddit moderator chats discussing the situation make it very clear that even those who don't think Gawker should be banned agree that the Gawker reporter did an awful thing. This deep hypocrisy in Reddit's position that posting names of child predators should be banned, but child predation should be protected by Reddit as 'free speech' is so blatantly obvious that one could almost stop there"
Fortunately, it doesn't stop there: the whole thing is excellent. (Almost Diamonds)

"Ronald Eugene accused of using enemas and then returning the “pre-packaged CVS Pharmacy Ready-to-Use enemas” to the shelves of a CVS pharmacy."
Turley's Blog

"Because California’s anti-pollution laws make it necessary to refine special gas for California alone, the oil companies have deliberately kept their refining capacity just barely above the minimum, so any short-term disruption means a huge price spike. This allows them to charge 30 cents per gallon more than in other states, since it is not in their interest to make the price of gas in California competitive.... Not surprisingly, oil companies have reported that their California refineries are consistently the most profitable in the U.S."
Skeptic Blog

"Yet another lawsuit has been filed against a Scientology-linked Oklahoma rehabilitation center in the wake of recent deaths at the facility... 32-year-old Gabriel Graves, of Claremore, was found dead in his room at the Pittsburg County facility."

Feel like losing some? You could end up dead:
"Botanical Slimming Capsule is specially designed to effectively absorb the oil from food, discharge of the body, stop the grease ingress, prevent the fat accumulation comprehensively, accelerate the excess fat decompounds and consumption, rapidly drive the trash and toxin away, get slim in short time by body purification and detex."
Doubtful News

Consumption of chowmein leads to rape in India:
"To my understanding, consumption of fast food contributes to such incidents. Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts..."
Times Of India

How to increase profits—pay the musicians a lot less:
"Pandora is crying to congress for help because they can’t turn a profit by giving away content to users for free with limited exposure to advertising, and because they can’t get enough paying subscribers from their extensive base of 'free' listeners. If I were an investor, I’d sell immediately just like the insiders have been doing en masse, or at the very least I would demand some real answers from Tim Westergren on why he can’t make this business model 'work'."
And they bitch about people wanting everything for free. (The Register)

And Linsay Lohan is voting for...