Saturday, June 4, 2011

Sarah Palin versus The History Channel

Identical to the original
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem about "The Midnight Ride Of Paul Revere" always was short on historical facts but leave it to professional dog-whistle Sarah Palin to turn one of the pivotal events of the American Revolution into a half-baked alternate reality for gun lovers:
"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed."
Think Progress

Yes, once again she's been sandbagged by that infamous "gotcha" journalism. Recently, Newt Gingrich (of all people) also found himself in the sights of one of those "gotcha" journalists. First, he stuck his foot in his mouth with this dangerously cogent remark about Paul Ryan's Medicare-gutting budget proposal:
MR. GREGORY: …some premium support and–so that they can go out and buy private insurance?
REP. GINGRICH: I don’t think right-wing social engineering is any more desirable than left-wing social engineering.
Crooks & Liars

The expression "right-wing social engineering" didn't go over too well with the usual suspects but the important thing is that Newt has now caught on to their game:
"I didn't go in there quite hostile enough, because it didn't occur to me going in that you'd have a series of setups," Gingrich said, according to the Washington Examiner. "This wasn't me randomly saying things. These were very deliberate efforts to pick fights."
Wow, they conned the con artist. Who would have thought?  (TPM)

As a result of this dastardly ambush Newt was forced to kiss Rush Limbaugh's ass:
GINGRICH: By the way, it was not a reference to Paul Ryan. There was no reference to Paul Ryan in that answer.
LIMBAUGH: Well then what did you apologize to him about?
GINGRICH: Because it was interpreted in a way which was causing trouble, which he doesn’t need or deserve. And it was causing the House Republicans trouble. One of my closest friends, someone I truly and deeply respect, emailed me and said your answer hits every Republican who voted for the Budget. Well, my answer wasn’t about the budget.

But now he's learned his lesson and has hit on the perfect strategy:
In effect, Gingrich claimed a blanket exemption from discussing parts of his career he doesn’t want to address – and broad license to bring up whatever he wants.
Asked to define the line between relevant information and “gotcha” question, Gingrich said that “everything is fair” for candidates asking “to lead the American people in the most important governmental job on the planet.”
But in the event he gets asked for information he doesn’t have at his fingertips, or considers trivial, Gingrich said: “My answer in the future is going to be: That’s really interesting, and I’m going to check it out and I’ll let you know.”
How very convenient. I'll have to try that the next time I'm in court. (Outside The Beltway)

Fortunately, there is a god—or rather, goddess—to explain all this:
"There's got to be the preparation on all the candidates' parts for those gotchas. That's what the lamestream media is known for nowadays is the gotcha trip-up questions"
And who else should know better, eh? (LA Times)

E-Z ryder
Meanwhile, Palin is leading the media around by the nose. I think they should just call it a day and impose a Paris Hilton-style news blackout.

"The future of our past looks bright"—Henry Rollins

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Our Wacky World—6/1/2011

"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie
 is that a cat has only nine lives."—Mark Twain

Today in rat news:
"Because of the nerve damage, she doesn't feel the spasms. That's where the trained rat comes in. He does feel the spasms and warns Moore by licking her neck."

"After Tasering, kicking and hitting a man in the head with flashlights while calling him a "wetback," Phoenix police officers falsely accused him of assaulting them and running away, but the man can't fight or run at all because he is paralyzed on one side of his body from childhood polio"

The other 134... he didn't
"The city's refusal to let homeless residents occupy temporary housing provided by FEMA has sparked outrage in this central Alabama town of 2,000, with angry citizens filling a meeting last week and circulating petitions to remove the man many blame for the decision, Mayor Jack Scott Scott has heard all the complaints, and he isn't apologizing. He said he doesn't want run-down mobile homes parked all over town years from now."

"There are about 3 solid cases where an inventor has created a truck or car that ran 100% on water but the inventor fell off the face of the earth. The great pioneer Stan Meyers, who on his HHO car painted "Jesus Christ is Lord", was murdered according to family and friends. He had completely proven that his car could run on 100% water in 1983 and yet we do not see any of his work on the road today. The other two inventors silently went off the grid. Without a doubt "Big Oil" and the government is behind this."

Notice they're calling water "HHO"? Classic free energy cranks with a dash of conspiracy theorism.

"Everyone knew the pregnancy...couldn't be viable given the amount of blood I was losing, but it still took hours for anyone at the hospital to do anything. The doctor on call didn't do abortions ignorant batch of medical students had gathered to study me -- one actually showed me the ultrasound of our dying child... No one gave me anything for the pain...  I was...listening to other women have healthy babies as the baby I had been trying to save died in my womb."

"One of...Scientology's most senior figures, Jan Eastgate, has been arrested and charged in Sydney...with perverting the course of justice, in relation to allegations she coached an 11-year-old girl to lie...about the sexual abuse she suffered from her stepfather who was a member of the Church of Scientology."

In other Scientology news, this ebay auction is probably giving Miscavige fits right now.

"A Polk County sheriff's deputy filmed herself strapping naked children to a desk and spanking them with sex toys, then sent the videos to a boyfriend she met on a fetish website"
Orlando Sentinel

'[Father] Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. "I do not want 16-year-old boys but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are O.K. Look for needy boys who have family issues"'

"Community members had accused him of talking to animals and using an invisible penis to sleep with women in the informal settlement. They also accused his wife of turning into a snail and terrorising the community."

"About 75 beachgoers could not understand why Alameda police officers and firefighters stood idly by and watched the man slowly succumb to the 60 degree water."