Thursday, May 26, 2011

Our Wacky World—5/26/2011

As predicted (accurately), the excuses have begun:
"We've always said October 21 was the day," Camping said during his show. "The only thing we didn't understand was the spirituality of May 21. We're seeing this as a spiritual thing happening rather than a physical thing happening. The timing, the structure, the proofs, none of that has changed at all. I don't have any responsibility. I'm only teaching the Bible. I'm telling ... this is what the Bible says. I don't have spiritual rule over anybody ... except my wife as the head of the household."
CNN Religion Blog

Here's a great article about the monster (known as Fox News) that Roger Ailes hath wrought and how it's not going so well these days:
"Sean Hannity complained to Bill Shine about Beck. And it didn’t help matters that O’Reilly, who had become friends with Beck and can’t stand Hannity, scheduled Beck as a regular guest, a move that only annoyed Hannity further."
"An elderly woman standing in line next to me told me that, in a way, she was glad Beck was leaving his Fox show. “I can’t tell you how many times I almost got in a car accident racing home from work to catch him at five o’clock,” she said. When I told her she could TiVo the show, she insisted she had to see it live."
NY Mag

"Prosecutors say during "training sessions," Bottone would strip and whip victims and stick needles under their nails to prepare them for being captured and tortured."
Daily News

"Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men. But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf."
The Telegraph

Here's what happens when you spend all your time chasing Mexicans:
"The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office failed to adequately investigate more than 400 sex-crime cases, including dozens in El Mirage, over a two-year period because of poor oversight and former Chief Deputy David Hendershott's desire to protect a key investigator from bad publicity, according to documents pertaining to a recent internal investigation released by the Sheriff's Office."
AZ Central

And here's another embarrassing development:
"Deputy Alfredo Navarrette, 37, has worked with the Sheriff's Office for nearly a decade, serving in a special unit designed to target human smugglers moving through Maricopa County. But investigators believe Navarrette was himself involved in human smuggling. Investigators found two undocumented immigrants in Navarrette's home when he was arrested early Tuesday... Investigators from a multijurisdiction drug task force also arrested two sheriff's detention officers... They are accused of laundering money and moving drugs for a Valley-based drug-trafficking organization with ties to Mexico."
AZ Central

"Tom Clarke accidentally kicked his football through a neighbour’s greenhouse... 30 minutes later a police patrol car, two officers and the force helicopter armed with thermal imaging cameras were on his trail... he was told the mishap had been recorded as criminal damage and could be revealed to future employers carrying out record checks."
Mail Online

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Our Wacky World—5/22/2011

It's 5/22/2011. Looks like we made it. Well, almost everyone:
"The victim reportedly made his way into a store at the Holy Family Basilica in Nairobi, hours before American evangelist Harold Camping had predicted the world would end at 6 p.m. Witnesses say the man entered the prayer sanctuary during the early morning mass.... catechist Michael Waweru...found the body hanging from metal bars above the store’s entrance"

"This technology represents the continuing work of Tesla, Rife, Abrams, Clark and others... "Rife Type Frequency Therapy" is a device that exposes disease organisms to highly-modified forms of their own unique frequency, [sic] viruses and bacteria can be eliminated by the millions...this technology can be used for experimental research purposes on pathogens and other metabolic deficiencies like Arthritis, Fungus, Virus, Candida, Migraines, Infections, Herpes, Lyme disease, Depression, Kidney Insufficiency, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Liver Congestion & many other conditions."
"This product is for research purposes only and is not intended to treat,
diagnose,prevent or cure any disease. If you are ill or in poor health, see your
health care professional immediately. This device is for your own
experimental research purposes only...

Bioelectrics For Health

"Whole Body Cryotherapy lowers skin temperatures for a brief period of 2-3 minutes. This dramatic cooling activates the immune system prompting every organ in the body to heal and repair itself... If you are pregnant, have uncontrolled blood pressure, uncontrolled heart disease, seizures, Reynaud’s syndrome or acute infection we do recommend WBC"

This story has really grown legs this week:
"As a doctor, if I'd seen this mother, I would be required to report her to protective services because it's maltreatment... Any doctor who would give a parent botox to administer to their children should lose their license… there's not a state where you don't need to be a licensed doctor or under direct supervision of a doctor to inject this"

But now she says she faked the whole thing for $200 and The Sun says she's lying. I guess she'll have a reality show a few months from now. Or the Lifetime Movie Channel (for women) will have a bad TV movie of her sordid story.

"Western countries have designed plans to cause drought in certain areas of the world, including Iran... European countries are using special equipment to force clouds to dump their water on their continent... they prevent rain clouds from reaching regional countries, including Iran," Mr Ahmadinejad charged.

"Most of these entrepreneurs hit on the idea of selling fast food to the would-be pilgrims, but Beto follows a different path and decides to build a toilet. He imagines, not entirely unreasonably, that the crowds who will have travelled far and waited a long time to see the Pope will all be willing to pay for the privilege of using his toilet, the only public facility in the area."

Curiously, there's one "progressive" topic that John McCain, the man who gave us Sarah Palin, is always right about and his colleagues are always wrong about—and leave it to Rick "man on dog" Santorum to say what they're all thinking:
"...he [McCain] doesn't understand how enhanced interrogation works," Santorum said. "I mean, you break somebody, and after they're broken, they become cooperative"
McCain spent almost six years in the Hanoi Hilton. Santorum might as well claim that Ron Jermey doesn't know where his penis is.
'McCain aide Mark Salter responded on Facebook, saying, "For pure, blind stupidity, nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today"'

"Texas, which may balance its budget by firing thousands of teachers, plans to commit $25 million in state funds to Formula One auto racing each year for a decade."

This one's pretty long but well worth your time:
"Todd became increasing violent and paranoid... he was arrested and began a protracted legal battle that culminated with a sentence of life in prison for assault with a dangerous weapon (a hypodermic needle) and kidnapping... the silo was a testament to Todd’s unrestrained profligacy. The main missile bay was filled with fine Persian carpets and luxurious leather couches. He owned a $120,000 stereo system... After the bust, the silo was gutted, and everything of value was sold.... eventually Todd’s henchmen broke inside to steal a cache of MDMA, LSD, and DMT hidden within the varicose pink marble walls. Today...the property is owned by a military-vehicle fanatic, who uses the missile bay to store a collection of WWII-era Soviet T-34 tanks."

"Why doesn’t the scientific community abandon Darwin’s failed hypotheses? Simple: The Jewish-dominated media and educational establishment are determined that, like unconditional support of Israel, Holocaust mythology, hate laws, and “civil rights” favoritism, there will be no end to the relentless force-feeding of evolution. Belief in evolution is a prerequisite for Jewish supremacism’s new-world order."

A digital projector manufacturer has bestowed awards for the world's worst Power-Point presentations. Not being a part of white collar America I've never had the pleasure. I hear Kent Hovind could rip through hundreds of slides in three hours.

"Three of the children were severely malnourished when found in October. The youngest, who is 13, had to be hospitalized immediately and two others were bony and looked pre-pubescent even though they were 15 and 20... All three were covered by downy hair that is characteristic of starvation victim... James didn't work outside the home, but ran a dog-and-cat boarding business. The animals were well cared for and well-nourished"