Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Our Wacky World—9/3/2013

Detroit has run out of paper—good luck getting a birth or death certificate

Nope, Einstein did not say that.

Do you have your homeopathic first aid kit? I'm sure it works great for anaphylactic shock.

How about a school lockdown toilet? A school district in California just bought 1800.

I can't make this shit up:
"More Louisiana Republicans Blame President Obama For Hurricane Katrina Response Than Bush"
Think Progress

Click to read about this bullshit
"Documents released Monday by the Texas Department of Public Safety’s provided no new evidence that officers found one jar of urine and 18 containers of feces at the Capitol before a July 12 debate on a controversial abortion bill."
Texas Tribune

"Findings published by the Study for Future Families showed that eating poultry during pregnancy may lead to smaller penis size in male infants. Looking at dairy products, eggs, fish, fruit, bird meat, potatoes, tomatoes, vegetables, and red meat, researchers found the most significant link between chicken consumption and decreased penis size because of a chemical compound found in the meat. Furthermore, evidence indicates that heterosexual women’s sexual satisfaction depends in part on their partner’s penis size."
Note that a homeopathic preparation of this "chemical" would make your penis bigger—if homeopathy actually worked.

Land of a MIllion Gods

If you have to ask...you're running out of topics for your TV show
"Since I began blogging in 2007, I’ve been told that I’m a racist, sexist, fascist, communist, woman-hater, man-hater, liar with no conscience, a scam artist, a sexless virgin, a misogynistic player, and too young to know anything about anything. Strangely, I’ve never been accused of being any of these things in my personal life."
Mark Manson

Self-styled child development expert Jenny McCarthy is a smoker and she hasn't quit yet:
"I also could not escape the irony of the woman who rails against 'toxins' in vaccines and described her struggles trying to stop smoking when she was pregnant now shilling for a device designed to be used to inhale a toxic substance (nicotine) into one’s lungs. On the other hand, she has in the past raved about how she absolutely 'loves' Botox; so maybe it’s not so difficult to understand."
Science-based Medicine

Botox is "natural," just like arsenic and strychnine.

"In the 1970s, reports Darling-Hammond, Finland’s student achievement was low. But in the decades since, they have steadily upgraded their education system until now they’ve reached the top. What’s more, they took what was once a wide achievement gap between rich and poor, and reduced it until it’s now smaller than in nearly all other wealthy nations. Here’s how..."

"In what will surely go down in history as one the greatest architectural blunders, the town of Benidorm in Alicante, Spain, had almost completed its 47-story skyscraper when it realized it excluded plans for elevator shafts."
Daily News

Great headline:
"Women who fear being forced to marry abroad told to hide spoon in underwear"
"The FBI has now gotten involved into the false lien filing business and considers the massive filings as a type of 'paper terrorism'. This is one of the few times lately that I agree with the FBI."
Turley's blog

Howard Kurtz is settling into his new Fox News gig:
"Asked why she believed Kurtz would write such a column, Quinn said she did not know, other than he could not find anything else to write about."
Crooks & Liars

"Parents in Tennessee came to court to deal with a dispute over the last name to be used for their 7-month-old son. However, Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew ordered the first name to be changed because the parents had named the boy 'Messiah.' Ballew admits that she has never ordered a first name change (particularly when both parents were in agreement with the name) but that messiah is a name earned by one person and 'that one person is Jesus Christ.'"
Turley's blog

"Top copyright troll Prenda Law has been caught red-handed seeding torrenting sites with pornographic films in an effort to drum up business for its copyright lawyers."
The Register