Our Wacky World—4/22/2014

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Sentence seen online:

"She also recommends spritzing on a leave-in conditioner like Rene Furterer Fioravanti Shine Enhancing No Rinse Detangling Spray to help hydrate and protect hair."

New Age Bullshit Generator:

"Do you want to sell a New Age product and/or service? Tired of coming up with meaningless copy for your starry-eyed customers? Want to join the ranks of bestselling self-help authors? We can help."

It's important to think for yourself:

"But as much as YOUR argument that I don't have science proving gluten is bad for everybody - nobody has any science showing that NOBODY benefits from a GF diet.

"Let me reiterate: NOBODY has ever done even a single study that shows in any sense that NOBODY benefits from eliminating gluten from their diet."

Post-modernist quantum mechanic. (Karate Conditioning)

How did that happen?

Does your town have Homeopathic Urine in its water supply?

"It is, from a chemical and infectious viewpoint, silly to get rid of the water, since birds routinely swim, crap and die in the water as well."

SFSBM

And:

Dallas Swonger wants the world to just know one thing. “I didn’t piss in the fucking water"

Vocativ

'The Nigerian Economic and Financial Crimes Commission is tasked with cracking down on con men like these. So is Interpol. The duo says they are able to skirt law enforcement because they have a lot of people on their payroll. "They're all criminals," Danjuma explains. They estimate that 30 percent of their earnings go to what they call "security"—that is, the payment of bribes. "We are not scared of any minister or president," Danjuma says, his words slightly slurred by the third 20-ounce bottle of Star. "We are not scared of him…Fuck him."'

Mother Jones

Glenn Beck isn't crazy enough for his audience anymore (did anyone not see it coming?):

“Get a grip Glenn. My vote didn’t keep Obama out of office. Our country is being destroyed and you and Obama think talk will fix it all. I am not for violence but you can’t use a sign against a fed sniper.”

Dispatches From The Culture Wars

'Heritage Foundation head Jim DeMint...insisted that “no liberal is going to win a debate that big government freed the slaves.” DeMint, a former US senator from South Carolina, [said] that “the conscience of the American people” and not the federal government was responsible for the end of slavery.'

Crooks & Liars

Typical southern white boy historical angst. Note that he quotes the Declaration of Independence but says it's from the Constitution, an error that no naturalized citizen—or someone who was awake during US Government class—would ever make. Spoken like a real American.

"It also doesn’t help that Morris has been affiliated with the Gilgal Society a pro-circumcision organization that also published a book of ‘erotic’ circumcision stories. Yes, you read that right. Circumcision child porn. Short excerpt below, in rot13."

Pharyngula

You can decode the "porn" sample here. Do they think that this will protect them from scrutiny somehow? I Googled "rot13" and that site was at the top of the list.


A good overview of the sheer inanity of chiropractic:

'The United Chiropractic Association is based in the UK and has members in the US, Canada, and ten other countries. A perusal of its website rings alarm bells. It includes a lot of informative (sarcasm intended) articles like “Detox with a Smoothie,” “Kids’ Spines Not Coping,” and “Usain Bolt Utilizes Chiropractic.” An article titled “Studies Prove Chiropractic Can Prevent Heart Disease” tells us that “adjustments of the atlas, or first cervical vertebra, may stop some heart attacks while they are occurring...”'

Science Based Medicine

"An inspection by Los Angeles Police Department investigators found about half of the estimated 80 cars in one South L.A. patrol division were missing antennas, which help capture what officers say in the field. The antennas in at least 10 more cars in nearby divisions had also been removed."

LA Times

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Our Wacky World—4/6/2014

There was a big mudslide and a number of people were killed. Let's take the story up close and personal...

"Right after the huge slide event of Jan. 25, 2006, Daniel Miller revisited the area. He saw that instead of people moving out, five more new homes...were being built. Even as they could still hear the huge tree trunks in the recent slide snapping in two, more nails were being pounded in. Ironically, a new 2006 law in the State of Washington had gone into effect prohibiting the building of more homes in danger areas such as this."

So far so good. People rebuilding in the path of the next disaster, tempting fate a second time, nothing new about that…

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"...one of the main activists protesting the 2006 zoning law to prevent runaway building in hazardous areas was Thomas Satterlee. He was one of the leaders of the activist anti-government “Patriot” movement, organizing armed militias in the area to fight back against the “big bad Government.” In the 1990s, he tried to declare the area as “Freedom County” and hoped to run it without any oversight from state or federal law"

"...he and his family are among the missing and presumed dead."

Oh good, one of those guys. Guess the government can't touch him now. (Skepticblog)

But I know you're dying to hear it—the even more pathetic backstory to the backstory...

⇣⇣⇣⇣

"By the time it petered out in the late 2000s, Satterlee and his fellow secessionists had announced their independence from Snohomish County (based on a petition that drew more than 12,000 signatures), appointed a sheriff (a former FBI agent who legally changed his name to “Fnu Lnu”) and demanded that Snohomish officials halt governance of the roughly 1,000-square-mile area that they claimed as their own."

"Lnu made assurances that he did not intend to carry a firearm in carrying out his new duties, but Snohomish County officials grew more concerned that the group could pose a threat of violence, particularly after two Freedom County supporters showed up at a county councilman’s home in the dead of night to demand $750 million."

Comedy gold.. (NBC)

Update: Check out Satterlee's twitter account.

"When even [senator Dianne Feinstein], who's never met a national security program she didn't like, says it's bad, it's bad. ...Feinstein is the dysfunctional mother who insists her national security boys would never do anything wrong. But the Senate is always quick to protect themselves from abuses they tolerate for ordinary citizens"

Crooks & Liars


Fake bomb detectors arise from the grave in Romania:

"Maybe I'm wrong but a scientific guy at the same level of competence like me should disprove me, not the BBC."

BBC

"After investigators had initially 'laughed at' the claims linking the [titanium] golf clubs to the fires, research led to hard evidence that there was indeed a connection."

Bleacher Report


God is on Russia's side:

'What gave Buchanan a thrill up his leg this time was Putin's defense of the annexation of Crimea, wherein the autocrat declared Russia to be a Christian nation. 

'"Heard any Western leader, say, Barack Obama, talk like that lately?" Buchanan wrote.'

TPM

Putin also insulted George Bush's dog. What a man.

It'll always be happy hour in Georgia:

"The bill allows people with a weapons permit to carry loaded guns into bars, as long as they do not consume alcohol — although the bill does not say how that caveat would be enforced."

Crooks & Liars


Another "celebrity" talking about moving somewhere else:

'[Steven] Seagal, a Republican who is thought to be a relatively close acquaintance of Putin partly due to their shared love of martial arts, said that Putin is "one of the great living world leaders" and that he "would like to consider him as a brother."'

'Seagal also said that although he loves the United States, it is possible — "sometime" — that he will follow the lead of French movie star Gerard Depardieu and take Russian citizenship.'

He can hang out there with Eric Snowden.

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. (The Moscow Times)

Jesus cannot abide a tomboy:

"You're probably aware that Timberlake Christian School is a religious, Bible believing institution providing education in a distinctly Christian environment.. We believe that unless Sunnie as well as her family clearly understand that God has made her female and her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity, that TCS is not the best place for her future education"

Crooks & Liars

'The 24-year-old "continued to perform this experience as she grew up assuming, as mentioned, that 'everyone could do it.'" This is how she described her out-of-body experiences: "She was able to see herself rotating in the air above her body, lying flat, and rolling along with the horizontal plane. She reported sometimes watching herself move from above but remained aware of her unmoving “real” body."'

Popular Science

Our Wacky World—3/7/2014

"Newly Discovered Piece Of Cheese 
Is Older Than Jesus"

Check it out—I can put a huge headline up at the top just like CNN does now. (Popular Science)

So Putin the First wants to annex the Sudetenland. Yes, despite all the bitching about Godwin's "law" the analogy is very apt in this case. Needless to say, the Conservatives have a love/hate relationship with him:

Probably not

'The American right admires Putin. They want to gush over how manly and strong he is while simultaneously calling him a tyrant. That’s where all this “wrestles bears” bullshit comes from. Like Putin, the American right only has one definition of masculinity and that’s the tendency to be authoritarian and violent. If Putin were an American politician, he would be a wildly popular conservative. He hates all the right people, strikes the macho pose whenever possible, advocates for theocratic government and is a hyper-nationalist. He’d fit in perfectly.'

What's not to love? (Dispatches From The Culture Wars)


Ted Nugent is also a liar, among other things:

"I’ve been a cop in Lake County, Michigan, since 1982 thereabout. I conduct federal raids with the DEA and ATF and U.S. Marshals and the FBI and Texas Rangers and heroes of law enforcement."

None of which is true. (Dispatches From The Culture Wars)


This is rather long but fascinating—I can't decide which of a dozen paragraphs to quote so I'll use the own that takes a swipe at an evangelist:

'In 2009, she published The Narcissism Epidemic, a follow-up written with another of Baumeister’s former students, W. Keith Campbell. Twenge claimed that narcissism among Americans was rising at the same rate as obesity, and documented how the mantras of the self-esteem movement had begun infiltrating churches, with God himself being redrawn in our new self-obsessed image. Pastor Joel Osteen, for example, preaches in Lakewood, Houston, at the biggest church in America. “God didn’t create you to be average,” he tells his congregation. “You were made to excel.”'

Yeah, god wants everyone to be above average. Makes sense to exceptional Americans. But there's much more to the article... (Medium)

"NOTE: This is NOT a political issue, but A MATTER OF SELF-DEFENSE and a time that TRUE PATRIOTS MUST STAND !!! Most of us are not able to get close enough to Obama to capture and remove him, but some are. This REWARD is to encourage all who have the ability and opportunity to CAPTURE and permanently REMOVE Obama from the White House and Washington -- to do so."

In order to access the FaceBook page you have to have an account. I guess he doesn't realize how evil FB is. (Crooks & Liars)


Psychic fraudster finally sees the light—in a courtroom:

'Looking frail and downtrodden, Marks, 62, of Fort Lauderdale, sobbed as she apologized to her victims, her family and everyone she hurt, saying her former clients had been some of her best and closest friends. "At the time, I didn't realize what I was doing was wrong," she said, begging the judge for mercy. "Now, I realize that I caused a lot of hurt and disappointment.'

So she didn't realize until now that this was wrong:

"...Marks also exploited her grief after Deveraux's 8-year-old son, Sam, died in an ATV accident in October 2005. Marks tormented her with claims that the child was not in heaven and that Marks could transfer the child's soul or spirit into the body of another person, reuniting mother and son 'to keep him out of the flames...'"

Scum. (Sun-Sentinel)

Egyptian General performs familiar sounding miracle:

"'I defeated AIDS with the grace of my God at the rate of 100% . And I defeated hepatitis C,' said Maj. Gen. Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, head of the Cancer Treatment and Screening center."

"'I will take the AIDS from the patient and I will nourish the patient on the AIDS treatment. I will give it to him like a skewer of Kofta to nourish him,' Abdel-Atti said, referring to a dish made of ground meat. 'I will take it away from him as a disease and give it back to him in the form of a cure,' he said. 'This is the greatest form of scientific breakthrough.'"

CNN


Remember that expensive high school football stadium in Texas? "Which one?," you may ask. Well:

"A nearly $60-million, taxpayer-funded football stadium in Allen, Texas, north of Dallas, was closed indefinitely this week, 18 months after opening, because of 'extensive cracking' along the concrete concourse, district officials said."

LA Times