Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Our Wacky World—4/22/2014

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Sentence seen online:
"She also recommends spritzing on a leave-in conditioner like Rene Furterer Fioravanti Shine Enhancing No Rinse Detangling Spray to help hydrate and protect hair."

New Age Bullshit Generator:
"Do you want to sell a New Age product and/or service? Tired of coming up with meaningless copy for your starry-eyed customers? Want to join the ranks of bestselling self-help authors? We can help."

It's important to think for yourself:
"But as much as YOUR argument that I don't have science proving gluten is bad for everybody - nobody has any science showing that NOBODY benefits from a GF diet.

"Let me reiterate: NOBODY has ever done even a single study that shows in any sense that NOBODY benefits from eliminating gluten from their diet."
Post-modernist quantum mechanic. (Karate Conditioning)

How did that happen?
Does your town have Homeopathic Urine in its water supply?
"It is, from a chemical and infectious viewpoint, silly to get rid of the water, since birds routinely swim, crap and die in the water as well."

Dallas Swonger wants the world to just know one thing. “I didn’t piss in the fucking water"

'The Nigerian Economic and Financial Crimes Commission is tasked with cracking down on con men like these. So is Interpol. The duo says they are able to skirt law enforcement because they have a lot of people on their payroll. "They're all criminals," Danjuma explains. They estimate that 30 percent of their earnings go to what they call "security"—that is, the payment of bribes. "We are not scared of any minister or president," Danjuma says, his words slightly slurred by the third 20-ounce bottle of Star. "We are not scared of him…Fuck him."'
Mother Jones

Glenn Beck isn't crazy enough for his audience anymore (did anyone not see it coming?):
“Get a grip Glenn. My vote didn’t keep Obama out of office. Our country is being destroyed and you and Obama think talk will fix it all. I am not for violence but you can’t use a sign against a fed sniper.”
Dispatches From The Culture Wars

'Heritage Foundation head Jim DeMint...insisted that “no liberal is going to win a debate that big government freed the slaves.” DeMint, a former US senator from South Carolina, [said] that “the conscience of the American people” and not the federal government was responsible for the end of slavery.'
Crooks & Liars

Typical southern white boy historical angst. Note that he quotes the Declaration of Independence but says it's from the Constitution, an error that no naturalized citizen—or someone who was awake during US Government class—would ever make. Spoken like a real American.

"It also doesn’t help that Morris has been affiliated with the Gilgal Society a pro-circumcision organization that also published a book of ‘erotic’ circumcision stories. Yes, you read that right. Circumcision child porn. Short excerpt below, in rot13."

You can decode the "porn" sample here. Do they think that this will protect them from scrutiny somehow? I Googled "rot13" and that site was at the top of the list.

A good overview of the sheer inanity of chiropractic:
'The United Chiropractic Association is based in the UK and has members in the US, Canada, and ten other countries. A perusal of its website rings alarm bells. It includes a lot of informative (sarcasm intended) articles like “Detox with a Smoothie,” “Kids’ Spines Not Coping,” and “Usain Bolt Utilizes Chiropractic.” An article titled “Studies Prove Chiropractic Can Prevent Heart Disease” tells us that “adjustments of the atlas, or first cervical vertebra, may stop some heart attacks while they are occurring...”'
Science Based Medicine

"An inspection by Los Angeles Police Department investigators found about half of the estimated 80 cars in one South L.A. patrol division were missing antennas, which help capture what officers say in the field. The antennas in at least 10 more cars in nearby divisions had also been removed."
LA Times

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