Our Wacky World—2/3/2014

"Smog-hit Beijing shows sunsets on a giant display to remind people what the sun looks like"

The Register

"A lawyer for two police officers says the court cannot rule out the possibility that a man was screaming with joy when he was being repeatedly tasered at the Perth Watch House more than five years ago."

The ABC

"Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee told fellow Republicans on Thursday that rival Democrats were trying to win over female voters by promising them free birth control and telling them 'they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government.' Huckabee made the comment as he was making a pitch that the GOP needs to broaden its appeal and end its internal divisiveness."

Zingularity

"The erectile-dysfunction ad is one of more than 50 similar pitches for miracle cures and easy-money tricks that [Herman] Cain has passed along to his e-mail followers... ...he is not the only past presidential candidate hawking sketchy products. Newt Gingrich now pings the e-mail subscribers to his Gingrich Productions with messages from an investment firm formed by a conspiracy theorist successfully sued for fraud by the Securities and Exchange Commission."

New Republic

So much for the laughs. Now something much more serious:

"[Dr. Mahmet] Oz sighed. 'Medicine is a very religious experience,' he said. 'I have my religion and you have yours. It becomes difficult for us to agree on what we think works, since so much of it is in the eye of the beholder. Data is rarely clean.' All facts come with a point of view. But his spin on it—that one can simply choose those which make sense, rather than data that happen to be true—was chilling. 'You find the arguments that support your data,' he said, 'and it’s my fact versus your fact.' "

Oz the Great and Powerful has fallen completely for the "medicine/science is just another religion" fallacy. Everyone is entitled to their own facts. Post-modernist, relativistic New Age bullshit. Thanks for enabling him, Oprah. (Respectful Insolence)

☣

"Heightening the absurdity of intentionally huddling near a nuclear weapon that was about to explode was the fact that the men could not know exactly when it would explode. Probably to make the weapon resistant to electromagnetic pulses from any nearby nuclear explosions...the AEC had fashioned the SADM largely devoid of electronics. Instead, the device relied on two mechanical timers that, unfortunately, became less accurate the longer they were set for... "

I guess they didn't go in for fine Swiss craftsmanship. (Foreign Policy)

Click for heart-warming, gender-correct story

"Okay, so you speak in tongues to confuse Satan, then you have someone translate it…because Satan can’t understand the translation either? And where was the person to do the translating here? Seriously, this kind of dumb should hurt. Here’s the video:"

Dispatches From The Culture Wars

Let them run wild:

"Chaos may reign at Swanson Primary School with children climbing trees, riding skateboards and playing bullrush during playtime, but surprisingly the students don't cause bedlam, the principal says. The school is actually seeing a drop in bullying, serious injuries and vandalism, while concentration levels in class are increasing."

As I've mentioned before, when I was a kid we were climbing on the jungle gym over its concrete base. We had cherry bombs. And, of course, bullying was tolerated—can't win 'em all, I guess. (Stuff)

Serial con man Kevin Trudeau begs to be waterboarded:

"Looking haggard after nearly three months behind bars, the normally well-coiffed Trudeau seemed to be only half-joking when he told U.S. District Judge Robert Gettleman he’d gladly submit to the controversial torture technique if it led to his release."

Apparently incarceration is a bitch for rich white guys. (Tribune)

Just the facts, man

"Billionaire Ken Langone, the founder of Home Depot issued a warning to Pope Francis during an interview with CNBC... In the interview he said that wealthy people such as himself are feeling ostracized by the Pope’s messages in support of the poor, and might stop giving to charity if the Pope continues to make statements criticizing capitalism and income inequality."

Scared, frightened little bunny. Can't make the fucking Pope shut up. (Examiner)

Meanwhile:

"The thief or thieves made off with a large crucifix and a gold reliquary containing the vial of the blood of John Paul [II], who will be proclaimed a saint in April. Once John Paul is elevated to sainthood, artifacts from his life will increase in value."

Religion News

"Among other bizarre claims he made he stated he also said he had a map of places he can rob and studied survivalist medicine, including how to perform a cesarean section on his wife."

Turley's Blog

"That’s right, canines preferred to “excrete with the body being aligned along the north-south axis” under “calm magnetic field conditions.” The nearly 37 breeds of dogs studied were found to completely avoid urination or defecation along an east-west direction."

Turley's Blog

Our Wacky World—1/5/2014

Click for ?

Possible cancer breakthrough from...IBM?

Been raped? You're worth $0.079.

The reply to this question is just too beautiful:

"Your blog, the SBM page, has come up for me several times in my research. I’m an RN trying to research cancer treatment, for myself, I am the patient. I’m also a licensed massage practitioner with a 30 year history using 'alternative' or 'complementary' medicine successfully to treat myself for various things. When your blog has come up I’ve read into it, picking up some useful information. 

"My question is, why the sarcasm? Why do you and the responders on your site have such disdain and anger? Why do you feel threatened? Your physician status gives you the top of the totem pole, the extensive training, the authority and the privilege. Very doubtful you are going to be knocked off the top of that totem pole in this or any several more lifetimes to come."

Why the sarcasm? HA HA HA (Science Based Medicine)

"The LifeGem® is a certified, high-quality diamond created from a lock of hair or the cremated ashes of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life."

He's dead, gem. (Lifegem)

Are you female? Do you enjoy sex? Do you like being called a fool by crazed extremists?:

"The fact [sic] intercourse causes so many infections and tears and warts attests to the unnaturalness of intercourse, that it’s not meant to be. The vagina’s primary function isn’t to be penetrated by a penis but to eject a baby for birth. They are two muscle tissues / sphincters pressed against each other to help the baby be pushed out. Penetration of the penis into the vagina is completely unnecessary for conception."

At first I thought she was talking about anal sex. The whole thing is seriously insane. (Radical Wind)

Speaking of anal sex:

"I was trying to think into why this might be and you can laugh at my theory, but the connection of the rectum to the digestive system which is in many ways the emotional brain of the human machine is clear and present. If you look at the intestines they look a lot like the curls of the brain. Being stressed or nervous can literally shut down your digestion, make you throw up or lose your appetite. It’s an emotional group of organs. The kidneys and lungs for example are a more logical organ, they just process all day long."

Christ, that's the fourth time I've used Comic Sans in this post—that's four times this year. (Manboobz)

"A teacher in Ohio was suspended this week for allegedly telling an ambitious young African-American student that the country does 'not need another black president.' "

Crooks & Liars

"Chief Operations Officer Mark Grawe...told residents that anyone who protested his company's gas wells — some of which are located less than 200 feet from homes, schools and playgrounds — would find themselves on Department of Homeland Security terrorist watch lists. Though 'terrorism' is understood to mean the use of violence and intimidation for political coercion, Grawe showed no sense of irony bringing a guard armed with a gun, a taser and a can of pepper spray to a neighborhood meeting to help deliver his pro-fracking message."

Occupy dot com

"A few weeks ago, I blogged about the problems that creationist minister Ken Ham is having with his proposed 'Ark Encounter' project... Fundraising for the 'Ark Park' is woefully behind schedule so his organization is trying to finance it with junk bonds.

"...his organization also has no clue how to take care of animals. Apparently, they figure if Noah could keep two of every animal alive on the ark for months, surely it would be easy to park a bunch of lions and giraffes in their giant stable for many years so the local yokels can gawk at them. Fortunately, the rules of how to keep animals in captivity are well understood, and there are plenty of regulations to prevent animal abuse. The 'Ark' was apparently designed to fit Noah’s specifications, then a bunch of wooden stalls and cages were packed in it by architects with no concept of the requirements of animal enclosures, or zoo design."

It is a fucking zoo. And it's not a good idea to build a zoo out of wood. Any nasty infectious disease that pops up will permanently contaminate it. The only thing you can do once that happens is to burn the place to the ground and bulldoze it over, which is why there are laws... (Skepticblog)

Some businesses are now putting a "you can't badmouth us" clause in their sales agreements:

"The management of KlearGear must have forgotten the Wayback Machine. The Wayback Machine never forgets. When TechDirt researched it, they discovered the clause was not there on December 19, 2008 when Jon Palmer placed his order. Even more curious, if you check their website now, it is nowhere to be found. The clause has been redacted after local television station KUTV reported it."

Turley's Blog

"If you were the trustee of a troubled college fighting to keep its accreditation, would you hire as your new president someone who was forced out of a previous academic post [at Falwel's Liberty University] for lying about his past? Brewton-Parker College...announced this week that it has hired Ergun Caner to be its new president. A press release from the college quoted an unnamed trustee saying, 'We didn't consider Dr. Caner in spite of the attacks; we elected him because of them. He has endured relentless and pagan attacks like a warrior. We need a warrior as our next president.' "

Remember, if at first you don't succeed do the same thing more conservatively. Read the whole thing; this guy is a real piece of work along with anyone backing him. (Right-Wing Watch)

The MacDonald's web site for employees continues to amuse:

"The tipping guide from etiquette maven Emily Post on McDonald's website lists several high-ticket suggestions for givers during the holiday season, including 'a gift from your family (or one week's pay), plus a small gift from your child' for an au pair, 'one day's pay' for a housekeeper and 'cost of one cleaning' for a pool cleaner. The site also lists suggestions for dog walkers, massage therapists and personal fitness trainers."

NBC

And:

"Under 'Fast food tips,' the website shows one meal that looks a lot like something you would get at McDonald’s under the words 'Unhealthy choice' beside another meal labeled 'Healthier choice' "

Mediaite

Facists, commies and edged weapons oh my

Our Wacky World—12/5/2013

✧ Special Holiday Crap ✧

Click for info

"Family Research Council President Tony Perkins on Monday argued that companies should have the religious freedom to deny contraception coverage for women because 'that's why the Pilgrims came here.' "

Crooks & Liars

Click for price

“Despite its title, there is no 'great joy' to be found in this book. I also could not find the good tidings. In fact there is mostly petty griping about various entities seeking to 'destroy' Christmas (but only Christmas as defined by Sarah Palin). Palin manages to both rehash the War on Christmas and wage her own war on hope and charity (AKA love). Her sense of irony is as dead as is her sense of reality.”

Politicus

"The Christmas Candle has received a bit of notoriety because it was produced by Echolight Studios, a concern whose CEO is none other than failed conservative presidential candidate and sweater vest enthusiast Rick Santorum. Because of his presence behind the scenes, it is tempting to comb through the film for any possible references to his political agenda. However, the reasons that the film doesn't work—and it doesn't—have less to do with politics and more with the fact that the story makes precious little sense even by holiday fable standards." [1.5 stars]

Roger Ebert

Gene Scott would have been the first to point out that a candle is a phallic symbol.

"You may want to also consider returning some of your unopened purchases that may not seem as appealing as they did" Another tip from McResource supposedly tells employees to "Stop complaining. Stress hormones rise by 15% after 10 minutes of complaining."

Business Insider

"Instead of venturing into the cold this Black Friday, stay in and give your children a gift that will keep on giving. This year, we are celebrating the Holiday Season with a Black Friday special that is better than any deal found in stores. Donate $5, $10 or $25 to help Governor Walker get reelected..."

Cognidissidence

It's the Xmas buying season; does Scott Walker hate capitalism?

Orly Taitz and the conspiracy brigade have a new target this holiday season:

"It is a legitimate question: why there are no birth certificates and birth records for Malia and Sasha Obama, while there such records for children of other presidents?"

Fellowship Of The Minds

Click to enlarge

☃☃☃

"This issue has bothered me for many years. My former daughter in law was a caseworker with the state children’s services, and she often bragged on how many children she had removed from homes with no probable cause other than some vague complaint and in her opinion the kids were not being cared for properly. That she, of all people, would be the judge of who is a lousy parent is another story for another time. There are a number of really good reasons she became my ex-daughter in law."

Turley's Blog

"A social services worker and a hospital nurse are behind bars after a North Carolina deputy spotted their 11-year-old foster child shivering and handcuffed to the front porch -- with a dead chicken around his neck"

HLN

"Beijing has invested heavily to build up a nationwide [video] surveillance network that lets police watch every major street and corner in main cities. But with smoggy days becoming more frequent, the effectiveness of the system has been greatly compromised. Some fear terrorists may choose a smoggy day to launch attacks."

SCMP

"It was bad enough when three men in her section decided to skip out on a $96 bill, but it got a whole lot worse for waitress Suzanne Parratt when she was subsequently fired from her job for refusing to cover the unpaid tab."

Gawker

I especially like this comment:

"Let me pose this question to the fair Gawker audience: When you make a big stink like this (not that she hasn't the right to) by going to the media and threaten to or goes ahead and sue her former employer, doesn't the act alone make future hiring managers avoid you like the plague?"

Concern troll. It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.


 Hacker against hacker—oh the humanity:

“Stop Spying on Indonesia. Tell on your government stop all forms of tapping into Indonesia. Or we will make your internet network destroyed.”

The Register

Didn't see it coming