Our Wacky World—2/4/2013

???

Yet another installment in the What Were You Thinking/The Internet Never Forgets dept.:

"A 23-year-old math teacher has been suspended from her job after it was revealed she had been posting half-naked photos of herself on Twitter and joking about using drugs at school."

Mail Online

"Sobrino Valdeci...was arrested...for raping several women attending his church. He gave as an excuse that his penis had been consecrated with 'divine semen of the Holy Spirit... I hope to continue my wonderful job within the prison'"

M24digital

"...they have found that with women who are on the birth control pill, there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb. ...these wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies."

Opposing Views

No

"the reason why I say Evolution is false is because Evolution say's [sic] a fish can turn into a monkey but a fish dose not have the voice of a monkey and Evolution says a monkey can turn into a fish but why don't we see sea monkeys under water evolution says a rock Turned into a Fish witch has sex with a Monkey in a Mud Pool that was struck by lighting and then the fish grew legs and walked and gave birth to a Human so the big question is what was the fish shoe size before it grew feet lol ahhahahahahah Evolution is false checkmate"

Debate


Meanwhile, Ken Ham denies his own propaganda:

"I don’t know where people get the idea that people rode dinosaurs. I mean, there’s no evidence in the Bible that that is so. When Job was looking at Behemoth, the description there… there’s nothing to do with people riding dinosaurs. We don’t know how people interacted with dinosaurs."

Leo Weekly

Surprise, grandpa:

“My daughter got this in the mail!” he said. “She’s still in high school, and you’re sending her coupons for baby clothes and cribs? Are you trying to encourage her to get pregnant?”

Forbes

Is the NRA leadership out of touch with their own members?:

"...84% of gun-owners and 74% of NRA members (vs. 90% of non–gun-owners) supported requiring a universal background-check system for all gun sales; 76% of gun-owners and 62% of NRA members (vs. 83% of non–gun-owners) supported prohibiting gun ownership for 10 years after a person has been convicted of violating a domestic-violence restraining order; and 71% of gun-owners and 70% of NRA members (vs. 78% of non–gun-owners) supported requiring a mandatory minimum sentence of 2 years in prison for a person convicted of selling a gun to someone who cannot legally have a gun."

Yes. And when this happens on Fox News you're pretty well fucked. (New England Journal of Medicine )

NO

"Israel has admitted for the first time that it has been giving Ethiopian Jewish immigrants birth-control injections, often without their knowledge or consent."

Independent

"When cops finally allowed the pair to see the boy, they found the panicked kid seated in a shabby chair with his left wrist cuffed to the wall, Mendez said... The police later dropped the robbery charge against the seven-year-old. Police insist that he was held for half the time stated by the family. That would still be five hours for $5."

Turley's Blog

You don't have Dr. Oz, the Great and Terrible, in your country? You probably will soon:

"Oz is fifty-two and jauntily fit, with a perfectly tamed helmet of brown hair and lengthy sideburns. His scrubs, powder blue and cinched at the waist, fit so well they looked as if they had been run up for him on Saville Row. In promotional pictures, Oz, with a stethoscope draped like a scarf around his neck, looks eerily like Doug Ross, the character that George Clooney made famous on 'E.R.' He worked the line like a gifted politician, hugging people as they flipped open their phones and tried to get a picture with him. Many had brought old copies of magazines to be signed: Time, Good Housekeeping, Prevention—all with Oz on the cover. 'I worship you, Dr. Oz,' one woman told him. Another threw her arms around his neck. 'I haven’t seen a doctor in eight years,' she said. 'I’m scared. You are the only one I trust.'"

New Yorker

The rules just don't apply to some people:

“In providing mail service across the country, the Postal Service attempts to work within local and state laws and regulations, when feasible... However, as you are probably aware, the Postal Service enjoys federal immunity from state and local regulation”

Yahoo

And... It's official. Fetus ≠ person:

"But when it came to mounting a defense in the Stodghill case, Catholic Health’s lawyers effectively turned the Church directives on their head. Catholic organizations have for decades fought to change federal and state laws that fail to protect 'unborn persons,' and Catholic Health’s lawyers in this case had the chance to set precedent bolstering anti-abortion legal arguments. Instead, they are arguing state law protects doctors from liability concerning unborn fetuses on grounds that those fetuses are not persons with legal rights."

Huffington Post

Hell No

In other church news:

"Behind a disguised offshore company structure, the church's international portfolio has been built up over the years, using cash originally handed over by Mussolini in return for papal recognition of the Italian fascist regime in 1929. 

"Since then the international value of Mussolini's nest-egg has mounted until it now exceeds £500m. In 2006, at the height of the recent property bubble, the Vatican spent £15m of those funds to buy 30 St James's Square. Other UK properties are at 168 New Bond Street and in the city of Coventry. It also owns blocks of flats in Paris and Switzerland."

Guardian

"The honour killings are carried out by law abiding, educated and respectable people, who fear the society and always try to guard their reputation. They always care about their esteem and public image and do not want any harm to their public standing"

Telegraph

"Minnesota attorney Thomas P. Lowe, 58, has been suspended indefinitely after he was found not only to have had an affair with a client in a divorce case but then charged her for time they spent having sex."

Turley's Blog

A major patent troll bites the dust:

"Remarkably, the judge overseeing the case ruled during trial that the jury wouldn't be allowed to make a decision about Newegg's arguments that the patent was invalid. That line of reasoning—that Soverain's patents were bogus to begin with—would become the basis of Newegg's appeal.

"Just saying "do it on the Internet" isn't a novel invention, the appeals court ruled. The three-judge panel found that all of the "shopping cart" patent claims were rendered obvious in light of the CompuServe Mall."

Ars Technica

Fuck No

Our Wacky World—1/21/2013

A note to all my fans: Christ What A Blog is now available at http://www.christwhatablog.com (the old address still works).

Paying taxes sucks, especially when you're not poor:

Click to enlarge

My heart bleeds. The sound of one cheek farting.

Here's a real creep-fest—ST:TNG makeup and wardrobe test shots. I especially like the part where Levar Burton looks like Eazy-E. But that's what everyone will look like in the future.

Speaking of looking, have you been trying to find some gold? You're using the wrong wavelength. "See" how easy it is?

Tragically, the Obama administration has taken a pass on the construction of a Death Star:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Raw Story

Now that I have all the fun out of the way, the National Rifle Association has officially jumped the shark. Their paranoid bullshit is finally backfiring perfectly. When you get a reaction like this from Joe Scarborough you're done. Not that they're going anywhere but it looks as if things may have finally tipped against them. Meanwhile, the Sandy Hook shooting conspiracy theories are now in full swing:

"The crux of the theory is a photograph of Parker’s sister sitting on President Obama’s lap when he visited with the victims’ families. The girl is wearing the same dress Emilie wore in a pre-shooting photograph of the family shared with media, so she must be Emilie, alive and well. 'BAM! I cannot believe how idiot these people are [sic]… That’s her,' one YouTuber exclaims as he watches the two images superimposed on each other. (Apparently missed by these crack investigators is the possibility that the sister wore Emilie’s dress and that they look alike because they are sisters, after all.)"

Salon

And:

"A Kentucky sheriff who refused to enforce any new gun laws that he deemed unconstitutional says that the Second Amendment is 'like the Bible' because 'you either believe it or you don't.'"

Crooks & Liars

"Pepper spray cop" becomes an expensive meme:

"The University of California has agreed to pay $1 million to settle a lawsuit filed by demonstrators who were pepper-sprayed during an Occupy protest at UC Davis last fall"

I wonder if that's coming out of officer Pike's paycheck? (Yahoo)

Even with my eyesight I wouldn't make this mistake:

"A blind stroke victim has issued a compensation claim after he was shot in the back with a 50,000-volt Taser stun gun by a police officer who mistook his white stick for a samurai sword."

Independent

Click for further advice

Just another day in America:

"Because her excruciating pain prevented her from lying down for an examination, hospital staff labeled her “noncompliant,” and called the police. The police discovered that she had two pain pills that weren’t hers. Still in pain, she was released by the hospital as “fit to incarcerate,” arrested for drug possession, and taken to jail, where she died two hours later from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy."

RH Reality Check

And:

"Clearly, Chicago’s power structure remains on the wrong side of history. Until it fully admits to its enormous collective crimes, compensates all of the torture survivors, affords all of those still imprisoned full and fair hearings, and brings all of the torturers to justice, Chicago will remain the torture capital of the United States with its conscience painfully stained by systemic police torture and its brazen and unremitting cover-up."

The Nation


How unpopular is the US Congress? This pollster decided to make direct comparisons:

"Congress is less popular than cockroaches, traffic jams, and even Nickelback" The good news?--"by relatively close margins it beats out Lindsey Lohan"

Public Policy Polling

"The ambitious project, projected to cost over two billion dollars, has been heavily influenced by Walt Disney. ...Disneyland was originally intended to be a place where people would find happiness, inspiration, courage and hope. Over time, Walt Disney’s original vision has been lost. ...it’s become commercialized and the big dreams and the heart have been compromised. 

"Glenn [Beck] believes that he can bring the heart and the spirit of Walt’s early Disneyland ideas into reality. Independence, USA wouldn’t be about rides and merchandise, but would be about community and freedom. The Marketplace would be a place where craftmen and artisan could open and run real small businesses and stores. The owners and tradesmen could hold apprenticeships and teach young people the skills and entrepreneurial spirit that has been lost in today’s entitlement state."

Glenn Beck dot com


This guy's in prison now:

"Prosecutors said that over the course of their investigation, Kinnucan made nearly 25 threatening phone calls to law enforcement officials. He 'made repeated references to genocide, sexual and other forms of violence' and also attempted to contact witnesses in the case"

CNN


The next stage in the radiological debate in the wake of Fukushima—The United Nations Scientific Committee on the Effects of Atomic Radiation weighs in:

"This has had the unintended consequence of making people even more afraid of what they are eating, moving safe foods into the scary category and limiting food exports, causing even further economic and social damage. 

"Suddenly, all sorts of normally safe foods are now banned. Wild mushrooms from Aomori Prefecture are now banned because they have cesium levels of about 120 Bq/kg. This cesium has nothing to do with Fukushima, it’s the same type as is in everyone’s food around the world, and it wouldn’t have rated a second look before the accident "

Forbes


What a great guy:

"Attorney For Christian Anti-Gay Group Arrested For Having Sex With Teenage Girl and Child Pornography"

Turley's Blog


Among other things, Michelle Bachmann is also a skinflint:

"It is sobering to think that a Christian member of Congress would betray her testimony to the Lord and the public by withholding earned wages from deserving staff"

Christian News Wire

She may be in serious legal trouble. What a shame.


Obama's signature, of all things, is now under suspicion:

"The Obama commission is startling in that the president's signature is so big, more than an inch and a half high at the B, which is an inch and a half wide. Reagan's first and last names could fit in the B alone. Obama's signature is dramatic, even theatrical: The O is cut almost exactly in two by the elongated b of Obama. Even in his signature he starkly divides...."

No More Mister Nice Blog

"In his post-priesthood, Wallin, 61, bought an adult specialty and video store in North Haven called Land of Oz that sells sex toys and X-rated DVDs. Investigators believe the shop helped him launder thousands of dollars in weekly profits."

CT Post

Linsay Lohan is back in court, blah blah blah...

Our Wacky World—1/10/2013

Another great spam topic: "This is not fables – the holy true is in our online medical shop!"

From the Ghost of Xmas (very recently) Past—Ebenezer Scrooge was a good man of business.

The Second Coming is now officially pushed back until 2060 so let's start the new year off with a floating pity party:

Dream on

"'Who sent Obama here to destroy America?' a fiftysomething woman asked me one evening over dinner, as if it were a perfectly reasonable question. And here onboard the cruise ship, it was. If the Nieuw Amsterdam was a kind of ark of American alienation, at least it was an eminently comfortable one... Most of the roughly 600 National Review cruisers, who’d signed up for what was billed as the 'conservative cruise of a lifetime,' were in their prime during the Reagan years—the greatest days to be a conservative. Nostalgia and loss hung in the air, with much talk of endings, both personal and national. To sum up his feelings about the election, John Wohlstetter, a national-security author in his mid-sixties...recalled the words of a long-­forgotten liberal lamenting a loss: 'The people have spoken, the bastards.'

"Jonah Goldberg attempted a note of optimism, garnering hearty applause when he said conservative ideas were 'still salable because, A, they’re correct. Two plus two is four. You have to believe that we’re going to be proven right by reality.'"

This article has so many hilarious quotes in it I have to force myself to stop adding any. A must-read. (NYmag)

Also of great interest:

"Put all this together and you have an astonishing body of evidence. We now have studies at the international level, the national level, the state level, the city level, and even the individual level. Groups of children have been followed from the womb to adulthood, and higher childhood blood lead levels are consistently associated with higher adult arrest rates for violent crimes. All of these studies tell the same story: Gasoline lead is responsible for a good share of the rise and fall of violent crime over the past half century."

Mother Jones

What could possibly be funnier then paranormalists ripping off paranormalists?

"May this post serve as a warning to prevent future financial victims of PRS and may it serve as a catalyst to the criminal justice system to come to the aid of the victims and to punish these criminal offenders. Both my daughter and I will be more than happy to provide legal statements and testify against them in Court"

Rip-off Report


The latest from living legend John MacAfee:

"McAfee goes on to accuse members of Hezbollah of establishing a training base in Nicaragua, south of Belize. The supposed terrorists formed links with the Zetas, the infamous Mexican drug cartel, and may be using deadly ricin from plants grown at the training camp, we're told. The Zetas, according to McAfee, smuggle the poisonous protein in return for advanced weaponry from Hezbollah"

The Register


Mike "every mass shooting is an FBI hoax" Adams is already a colossal FAIL when it comes to the 2nd Amendment but now he's working on the 1st:

"Americans are, of course, protected under the First Amendment to make their points of view well-known, even if (or especially if) they use their constitutionally protected voice to speak out against other rights enshrined in the Constitution. But Morgan is not afforded those rights and protections."

Piers Morgan is an annoying prat but as long as he keeps pissing people like Adams off I can live with it. I don't watch his damn show. (Natural News)

"When it was announced that Electronic Arts would be partnering with gun companies for the latest outing of their Medal of Honor franchise, the vast majority of those following along let out a collective sigh. 'Great,' people said to each other, 'Another reason to blame video games for gun violence.'"

Geek System

"Donovan told the dispatcher that he was alone in the rectory. It’s not clear exactly how he ended up in handcuffs or why he feared a medical emergency. His voice sounds garbled or muffled on the tape, and sources say that police discovered some sort of gag on the priest when they arrived."

Illinois Times

"QuantumVET™ Tricorder Plus consists of a set of Portal Access Keys™ (PAKs™)downloaded to your smartphone, pc, laptop or tablet. These PAKs™ allow you to open a portal that allows master programs to be transferred from ZAG's quantum computer to your pet's brain to run a set of diagnostics to determine exactly what is causing your pet's symptom(s). ...these master programs then use their quantum intelligence to access the vast number of other master programs in ZAG's quantum library in order to select those programs necessary for administering treatment... Your pet's quantum computer (its brain) knows exactly what is going on... There is never any risk of adverse side effects nor possibility of overdose or toxicity to your beloved pet treating with pure data unlike medicines prescribed by traditional veterinarians...

"COUNTERFEIT NOTICE
Beware of imposters. Only Portal Access Keys™ (PAKs™) uploaded directly from this site (QuantumMANsite.com) are genuine and effective."

Quantum MAN

"A small religious school is under criminal investigation after several dozen teenage students and others volunteered over several weekends to gut a building containing asbestos... Students as young as 13 who attend the Buckeye Education School spent several weekends removing asbestos-filled materials without any protective gear at the former YWCA on Smith Road..."

WKYC

"Up to 60,000 patients die on the Liverpool Care Pathway each year without giving their consent, shocking figures revealed yesterday. A third of families are also kept in the dark when doctors withdraw lifesaving treatment from loved ones. Despite the revelations, Jeremy Hunt last night claimed the pathway was a ‘fantastic step forward’. In comments that appeared to prejudge an official inquiry into the LCP, the Health Secretary said ‘one or two’ mistakes should not be allowed to discredit the entire end-of-life system."

Mail Online

"The Cowboy Church of Virginia, led by chief pastor Raymond Bell, believes homosexuality and other ‘addictions’ can be cured by Equine Assisted Psychotherapy."

GayStarNews

“He came in one day, and finally I told him, ‘OK, I’ll put Intelligent Design into the curriculum … if you start a petition and get all the local ministers in the community to sign it saying they’ll allow the teaching of evolution in Sunday school’”

Pharyngula

"An Indiana man convicted of setting fire to an Ohio mosque attributed his crime to the influence of Fox News, which he says convinced him that 'most Muslims are terrorists."'"

Digital Journal

1. Talent
2. College paid for
3. Insane parents...

"Despite her good grades and success in musical shows, David and Julie Ireland often drove 600 miles from Leawood, Kan., to visit their daughter unannounced. They accused her of using illegal drugs, of promiscuity and suffering from mental woes... She insisted none of that was true and asked them to stop, but their accusations escalated. They informed her department head their daughter had mental issues that could force them to go to court to seek to have her treated."

AZ Central

"In a particularly embarrassing episode of the investigation, the Japanese police arrested four of those unsuspecting individuals and extracted "confessions" from them, only for other institutions to receive threats containing details that only the real criminal behind the scheme would know - while the four were in custody."

Net Security