Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Our Wacky World—5/11/2011

"The measure not only limits the amount of time male chickens can spend with their female counterparts to 10 days each year, but also requires them to prove they’re disease-free before they’re allowed access to the hens."

"Iran is in South America. Hezbollah is in South America. I already talked about how China is in control of the Panama Canal. And even about 50 miles away from here in the Bahamas, building a port there."
Think Progress

This man is spacially-challenged—he doesn't seem to know what "next" means even though he uses the word:
"It does not say what driveway. It doesn't say at the mosque," he said. "I have issues with the mosque. The sign is not directed at anybody. If they feel it's at them, that's how they feel."
Buffalo News (note that he's also a really bad liar)

"The Seattle Fire Department says one person was trapped after a car crashed through sheetrock in a hospital parking garage and plunged 10 feet down an unused elevator shaft."

It seems that Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn object to photographs of women, including the Secretary of State (here's the color version). But that's no surprise as they've done it before. The good news is that they could be in trouble this time:
"This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House."
Oh fuck, I've gone and modified it:

Do not modify this or Obama will kill you
"The consortium in charge of restructuring the world’s most infamous private-security firm just added a new chief in charge of keeping the company on the straight and narrow. Yes, John Ashcroft, the former U.S. attorney general, is now an “independent director” of Xe Services, formerly known as Blackwater."

'Several people said to be close to...president [Ahmadinejad] and his chief of staff, Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei, have been arrested in recent days and charged with being "magicians" and invoking djinns (spirits). Ayandeh, an Iranian news website, described one of the arrested men, Abbas Ghaffari, as "a man with special skills in metaphysics and connections with the unknown worlds".'

The best part of the following story is that he's a Bob Jones University graduate:
'Moats spoke passionately about his time as a Seal and how he left to pursue his religious calling. He explained that “I had almost no discipline. I was as wild as they came. That was my nemesis,” Moats said. “They weren’t looking for a guy who brags to everyone he is a SEAL. They wanted somebody who was ready but had an inner confidence and didn’t have a braggadocio attitude.” He described how after a fight in a bar, he decided to answer the call of the faithful. He even had a plaque in his office celebrating his service in the Seals.'
Turley's Blog

Turley's right. If you lie about your marital status to get a bigger tax refund, that's a crime. If you lie about your marital status to get laid, oh well.

No comments: