Karl Rove Has The Numbers

And yeh, as the election was nigh, Karl Rove spake the numbers, and they were good.

To watch the full Fox News meltdown see the November 7th episode of The Daily Show.

Notice the pattern here (updated to show final results in Florida):

2012

2008

Free vs. Slave States in 1860

The Wall Street Journal had a slight graphics glitch:

You are entitled to your opinion, pathetic as it may be

RavCave original

Our Wacky World—11/8/2012

Shock-horror! Obama thanks Satan on live TV! (this is a must-see).

[Once again it is clear that I cannot rely on my 2.5 readers to point out incorrect links. While the video linked above is amusing, the correct one deserves a viewing as well.]

Well, the 'lection is over and Obama won. Heads are exploding all over the place. Take, for example, Donald Trump:

"Donald Trump, who has driven well past the last exit to relevance and veered into something closer to irresponsible here, is tweeting tonight. Here's a sampling..."

Mail Online

Mr. Irrelevant

But before that epochal hissy fit there was the matter of Obama's nose job:

"In the aftermath of Donald Trump’s challenge to Obama to release his college and passport records in exchange for a $5 million donation to Obama’s charities, here’s another secret from Obama’s life of mystery and make-believe."

WND

That's a very interesting sentence, BTW. It's sort of like saying "After someone accused you of being a fraud, here's a picture of you looking like your dog". But wait, I see a link to a piece by "Uncle" Ben Kinchlow, Pat Robertson's former Afro-American co-star. He's quoting an anonymous female acquaintance:

"Any woman who is so shallow as to not see through the disdain for her gender and disregard for her intelligence by the relentless push to fall in line with the ideology of the left are as blind as those black Americans who can’t see the perpetual racial slight-of-hand being foisted upon them, regardless of how much information is available pointing to truth; truth, I might add, of which they are both willingly ignorant. If those women don’t wake up and learn what a real man is before Nov. 6, then they can continue to anticipate being treated like the second class citizens the liberals so passionately claim they are."

You can sort of see why most women didn't go for Romney. Note the quack medical links (see StemTech below). (Ben Kinchlow Blog)

You're a looney

"Yet, lawyer and Fox News Anchor Greta Van Susteren has defended the threats against international monitors: 'The election is none of their business. We ought to be able to police our own election.' Of course, that is precisely the same argument used in Iran, China, and other countries. It is another example of what is often referred to as 'American Exceptionalism' that we are simply unique and above the rules that we apply to other nations."

Turley's Blog

A vote for Jesus was one less vote for Mitt Romney. They racked up over 2 million pledges. And Obama won by how many votes? Scary, huh?

*** End Politics ***

"When the child refused to take the antibiotics and continued to have problems eating, the doctor reportedly advised the Staats to take the child to another medical professional or a hospital, according to the police report. The doctor reportedly described the boy's condition as critical. Michelle Staats allegedly told police she prayed about whether she should take the child to a hospital... When she thought about taking the boy to the hospital, she got an upset stomach. She allegedly interpreted the upset stomach as a sign from God she should continue trying to treat the child herself."

Columbia Basin Herald

"They called police which came right over . . . and arrested the couple in front of their nine-year-old child. They say it was the local Clayton police who were abusive — grabbing their phone and yelling at them. They told Keeley to stop lying and that they knew no one broke into the home. It is not clear why Keeley would call to report his own drugs."

Turley's Blog


As promised above, yet another woo company with a multi-level marketing scheme:

"StemEnhance is an important part of daily adult stem cell nutrition and works best when used in tandem with StemFlo®, which supports the healthy circulation of adult stem cells and nutrients, and ST-5 with MigraStem™, which supports the ability of adult stem cells to migrate into tissue.* 

"*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA."

StemTech

Also:

"In 2001, a citizen's group filed a suit in California objecting to 30 claims Cell Tech had made in brochures or on its Web site. In February 2003, the judge ruled that all of the challenged statements were deceptive. He banned their further use in California and ordered Cell Tech to refund the full purchase price to California consumers who purchased its algae products between October 1997 and September 2002"

MLM Watch

So what they're selling is potentially toxic algae. BTW, a list that I'm on was recently invaded by some bizarroid with a StemTech email domain. He proceeded to annoy me and everyone else. Do you suppose there's a connection?

Election over. Nothing else to see here. Cue the campaign for 2016...

Our Wacky World—10/26/2012

I wonder what happened to all those fake news sites selling Acai berries?

Here's some asshole doing the feeble Christian "The gays are taking my rights away" speech. Oh wait, he isn't an asshole after all (watch it all the way to the end). Now that's how it's done.

Top of the list

Here's a real hole-of-ass, Bryan "Douche" Fischer, getting the boot on live TV. I guess he'll go Mike Huckabee's radio show to complain. Elsewhere in wingnut land, conservative "scholar" Dinesh D’Souza has lost his cozy job. Even more amusing, here's what his (now ex) fiance has to say about women in America:

"In one blog post...she argued, amongst other things, that women’s suffrage was a terrible mistake. Well, 'argued' might be stretching it: the post is a long, barely coherent, free-associational rant laced not only with internalized misogyny but with racism and homophobia to boot."

Manboobz

Asked by reporters after the debate if he was saying that it’s never medically necessary to conduct an abortion to save the life of a mother, Walsh responded, “Absolutely. With modern technology and science, you can't find one instance... There is no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing.”

WGN

"Using the same PhD tested theological method I successfully defended in my PhD dissertation, I have developed a way to help you see the invisible spirits ruling in the heart of the 44th President."

Dispatches From The Culture Wars

PhD tested? Is that something like UL listed only with more circular reasoning?


How to make millions off of idiots:

"He had invented a pseudo-scientific theory he called 'global scaling', which he said allowed him to use gravitational waves to prevent electronic smog, use novel methods of scanning to be applied in medicine, and transmit 'information without any limits in quantity, quality or time'."

BBC

Climate Trolls—An Illustrated Bestiary:

"Some will pray [sic] on your admitted ignorance or uncertainty. Some will pray [sic] on your subconscious wish that climate change not be real or if it is, it will be benign. Some will seem to engage sincerely but seek only to lure you so deep into the rabbit hole you will be unable to return. Some will dazzle you with words so long and unfamiliar and thoughts so obscure and eccentric that you’ll feel you must believe. Some will simply badger and harass you until you can take no more. It is a harsh and dangerous world. This is why I wish to provide you a guide to these many and varied beings you will surely come across as you venture ever deeper into their native realm."

A Few Things Ill Considered


So Reddit's biggest troll got outed. Cue the inevitable howls of hypocrisy:

"All of a sudden, defense of 'free speech' became a secondary concern for Reddit management and they banned linking to Gawker from the site. Leaked text of Reddit moderator chats discussing the situation make it very clear that even those who don't think Gawker should be banned agree that the Gawker reporter did an awful thing. This deep hypocrisy in Reddit's position that posting names of child predators should be banned, but child predation should be protected by Reddit as 'free speech' is so blatantly obvious that one could almost stop there"

Fortunately, it doesn't stop there: the whole thing is excellent. (Almost Diamonds)

"Ronald Eugene Robinson...is accused of using enemas and then returning the “pre-packaged CVS Pharmacy Ready-to-Use enemas” to the shelves of a CVS pharmacy."

Turley's Blog

"Because California’s anti-pollution laws make it necessary to refine special gas for California alone, the oil companies have deliberately kept their refining capacity just barely above the minimum, so any short-term disruption means a huge price spike. This allows them to charge 30 cents per gallon more than in other states, since it is not in their interest to make the price of gas in California competitive.... Not surprisingly, oil companies have reported that their California refineries are consistently the most profitable in the U.S."

Skeptic Blog

"Yet another lawsuit has been filed against a Scientology-linked Oklahoma rehabilitation center in the wake of recent deaths at the facility... 32-year-old Gabriel Graves, of Claremore, was found dead in his room at the Pittsburg County facility."

KJRH

Click...

Feel like losing some? You could end up dead:

"Botanical Slimming Capsule is specially designed to effectively absorb the oil from food, discharge of the body, stop the grease ingress, prevent the fat accumulation comprehensively, accelerate the excess fat decompounds and consumption, rapidly drive the trash and toxin away, get slim in short time by body purification and detex."

Doubtful News


Consumption of chowmein leads to rape in India:

"To my understanding, consumption of fast food contributes to such incidents. Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts..."

Times Of India


How to increase profits—pay the musicians a lot less:

"Pandora is crying to congress for help because they can’t turn a profit by giving away content to users for free with limited exposure to advertising, and because they can’t get enough paying subscribers from their extensive base of 'free' listeners. If I were an investor, I’d sell immediately just like the insiders have been doing en masse, or at the very least I would demand some real answers from Tim Westergren on why he can’t make this business model 'work'."

And they bitch about people wanting everything for free. (The Register)


And Linsay Lohan is voting for...