Our Wacky World—1/5/2014

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Possible cancer breakthrough from...IBM?

Been raped? You're worth $0.079.

The reply to this question is just too beautiful:

"Your blog, the SBM page, has come up for me several times in my research. I’m an RN trying to research cancer treatment, for myself, I am the patient. I’m also a licensed massage practitioner with a 30 year history using 'alternative' or 'complementary' medicine successfully to treat myself for various things. When your blog has come up I’ve read into it, picking up some useful information. 

"My question is, why the sarcasm? Why do you and the responders on your site have such disdain and anger? Why do you feel threatened? Your physician status gives you the top of the totem pole, the extensive training, the authority and the privilege. Very doubtful you are going to be knocked off the top of that totem pole in this or any several more lifetimes to come."

Why the sarcasm? HA HA HA (Science Based Medicine)

"The LifeGem® is a certified, high-quality diamond created from a lock of hair or the cremated ashes of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life."

He's dead, gem. (Lifegem)

Are you female? Do you enjoy sex? Do you like being called a fool by crazed extremists?:

"The fact [sic] intercourse causes so many infections and tears and warts attests to the unnaturalness of intercourse, that it’s not meant to be. The vagina’s primary function isn’t to be penetrated by a penis but to eject a baby for birth. They are two muscle tissues / sphincters pressed against each other to help the baby be pushed out. Penetration of the penis into the vagina is completely unnecessary for conception."

At first I thought she was talking about anal sex. The whole thing is seriously insane. (Radical Wind)

Speaking of anal sex:

"I was trying to think into why this might be and you can laugh at my theory, but the connection of the rectum to the digestive system which is in many ways the emotional brain of the human machine is clear and present. If you look at the intestines they look a lot like the curls of the brain. Being stressed or nervous can literally shut down your digestion, make you throw up or lose your appetite. It’s an emotional group of organs. The kidneys and lungs for example are a more logical organ, they just process all day long."

Christ, that's the fourth time I've used Comic Sans in this post—that's four times this year. (Manboobz)

"A teacher in Ohio was suspended this week for allegedly telling an ambitious young African-American student that the country does 'not need another black president.' "

Crooks & Liars

"Chief Operations Officer Mark Grawe...told residents that anyone who protested his company's gas wells — some of which are located less than 200 feet from homes, schools and playgrounds — would find themselves on Department of Homeland Security terrorist watch lists. Though 'terrorism' is understood to mean the use of violence and intimidation for political coercion, Grawe showed no sense of irony bringing a guard armed with a gun, a taser and a can of pepper spray to a neighborhood meeting to help deliver his pro-fracking message."

Occupy dot com

"A few weeks ago, I blogged about the problems that creationist minister Ken Ham is having with his proposed 'Ark Encounter' project... Fundraising for the 'Ark Park' is woefully behind schedule so his organization is trying to finance it with junk bonds.

"...his organization also has no clue how to take care of animals. Apparently, they figure if Noah could keep two of every animal alive on the ark for months, surely it would be easy to park a bunch of lions and giraffes in their giant stable for many years so the local yokels can gawk at them. Fortunately, the rules of how to keep animals in captivity are well understood, and there are plenty of regulations to prevent animal abuse. The 'Ark' was apparently designed to fit Noah’s specifications, then a bunch of wooden stalls and cages were packed in it by architects with no concept of the requirements of animal enclosures, or zoo design."

It is a fucking zoo. And it's not a good idea to build a zoo out of wood. Any nasty infectious disease that pops up will permanently contaminate it. The only thing you can do once that happens is to burn the place to the ground and bulldoze it over, which is why there are laws... (Skepticblog)

Some businesses are now putting a "you can't badmouth us" clause in their sales agreements:

"The management of KlearGear must have forgotten the Wayback Machine. The Wayback Machine never forgets. When TechDirt researched it, they discovered the clause was not there on December 19, 2008 when Jon Palmer placed his order. Even more curious, if you check their website now, it is nowhere to be found. The clause has been redacted after local television station KUTV reported it."

Turley's Blog

"If you were the trustee of a troubled college fighting to keep its accreditation, would you hire as your new president someone who was forced out of a previous academic post [at Falwel's Liberty University] for lying about his past? Brewton-Parker College...announced this week that it has hired Ergun Caner to be its new president. A press release from the college quoted an unnamed trustee saying, 'We didn't consider Dr. Caner in spite of the attacks; we elected him because of them. He has endured relentless and pagan attacks like a warrior. We need a warrior as our next president.' "

Remember, if at first you don't succeed do the same thing more conservatively. Read the whole thing; this guy is a real piece of work along with anyone backing him. (Right-Wing Watch)

The MacDonald's web site for employees continues to amuse:

"The tipping guide from etiquette maven Emily Post on McDonald's website lists several high-ticket suggestions for givers during the holiday season, including 'a gift from your family (or one week's pay), plus a small gift from your child' for an au pair, 'one day's pay' for a housekeeper and 'cost of one cleaning' for a pool cleaner. The site also lists suggestions for dog walkers, massage therapists and personal fitness trainers."

NBC

And:

"Under 'Fast food tips,' the website shows one meal that looks a lot like something you would get at McDonald’s under the words 'Unhealthy choice' beside another meal labeled 'Healthier choice' "

Mediaite

Facists, commies and edged weapons oh my

Our Wacky World—12/5/2013

✧ Special Holiday Crap ✧

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"Family Research Council President Tony Perkins on Monday argued that companies should have the religious freedom to deny contraception coverage for women because 'that's why the Pilgrims came here.' "

Crooks & Liars

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“Despite its title, there is no 'great joy' to be found in this book. I also could not find the good tidings. In fact there is mostly petty griping about various entities seeking to 'destroy' Christmas (but only Christmas as defined by Sarah Palin). Palin manages to both rehash the War on Christmas and wage her own war on hope and charity (AKA love). Her sense of irony is as dead as is her sense of reality.”

Politicus

"The Christmas Candle has received a bit of notoriety because it was produced by Echolight Studios, a concern whose CEO is none other than failed conservative presidential candidate and sweater vest enthusiast Rick Santorum. Because of his presence behind the scenes, it is tempting to comb through the film for any possible references to his political agenda. However, the reasons that the film doesn't work—and it doesn't—have less to do with politics and more with the fact that the story makes precious little sense even by holiday fable standards." [1.5 stars]

Roger Ebert

Gene Scott would have been the first to point out that a candle is a phallic symbol.

"You may want to also consider returning some of your unopened purchases that may not seem as appealing as they did" Another tip from McResource supposedly tells employees to "Stop complaining. Stress hormones rise by 15% after 10 minutes of complaining."

Business Insider

"Instead of venturing into the cold this Black Friday, stay in and give your children a gift that will keep on giving. This year, we are celebrating the Holiday Season with a Black Friday special that is better than any deal found in stores. Donate $5, $10 or $25 to help Governor Walker get reelected..."

Cognidissidence

It's the Xmas buying season; does Scott Walker hate capitalism?

Orly Taitz and the conspiracy brigade have a new target this holiday season:

"It is a legitimate question: why there are no birth certificates and birth records for Malia and Sasha Obama, while there such records for children of other presidents?"

Fellowship Of The Minds

Click to enlarge

☃☃☃

"This issue has bothered me for many years. My former daughter in law was a caseworker with the state children’s services, and she often bragged on how many children she had removed from homes with no probable cause other than some vague complaint and in her opinion the kids were not being cared for properly. That she, of all people, would be the judge of who is a lousy parent is another story for another time. There are a number of really good reasons she became my ex-daughter in law."

Turley's Blog

"A social services worker and a hospital nurse are behind bars after a North Carolina deputy spotted their 11-year-old foster child shivering and handcuffed to the front porch -- with a dead chicken around his neck"

HLN

"Beijing has invested heavily to build up a nationwide [video] surveillance network that lets police watch every major street and corner in main cities. But with smoggy days becoming more frequent, the effectiveness of the system has been greatly compromised. Some fear terrorists may choose a smoggy day to launch attacks."

SCMP

"It was bad enough when three men in her section decided to skip out on a $96 bill, but it got a whole lot worse for waitress Suzanne Parratt when she was subsequently fired from her job for refusing to cover the unpaid tab."

Gawker

I especially like this comment:

"Let me pose this question to the fair Gawker audience: When you make a big stink like this (not that she hasn't the right to) by going to the media and threaten to or goes ahead and sue her former employer, doesn't the act alone make future hiring managers avoid you like the plague?"

Concern troll. It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.


 Hacker against hacker—oh the humanity:

“Stop Spying on Indonesia. Tell on your government stop all forms of tapping into Indonesia. Or we will make your internet network destroyed.”

The Register

Didn't see it coming

Our Wacky World—11/2/2013

"A defibrillator fitted to US vice president Dick Cheney had its wireless functions removed in the factory, in order to ensure hackers – or terrorists – could not kill him by attacking the device."

The Register

"A chilling Ministry of Defense (MoD) report circulating in the Kremlin today confirms that the Strategic Missile Forces (SMF) sudden, unannounced and successful firing of a Topol ballistic missile into the Sary-Shagan testing ground in Kazakhstan last Thursday (10 October) was in 'direct response' to President Barack Obama’s attempt to destroy Charleston, South Carolina in what military intelligence analysts state was an attempted 'false flag attack.'"

Dispatches From The Culture Wars


Pepper Spray Cop gets a larger settlement than his victims:

"Pike might have lost his job over the incident, but he's now being awarded more than $38,000 as a result of it."

HLN

"...you ought to say no the Girl Scout cookies too. I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood and I don’t want to support abortion, and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies. Now I suppose if you take a big, fat, black magic marker and you say, ‘give me that box,’ and you start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes then maybe we’re not promoting that organization anymore and I’d be willing to buy."

Dispatches From The Culture Wars

"Authorities were aghast this weekend when they found 14 assisted-living home patients virtually abandoned, with bedridden seniors -- including amputees and residents with dementia -- all but left to fend for themselves for two days."

Mercury

"...it can be treated with an enema that forces it to vomit the drug-laced feces... In the meantime, experts are urging dog owners to train their animals to not eat human poop."

The Verge

"...the head of the recently-founded Church of the Chelyabinsk Meteorite...argues that [the meteor] over Chelyabinsk...was not a chance happening but a sign of what has long been talked of, namely that Russia may become the spiritual center of the world."

Since that was written a 570kg piece has been recovered. No message from god yet. (Voice of Russia)

Peas in a pod

"Dr. Masaru Emoto...found water that was microwaved did not form beautiful crystals – but instead formed crystals similar to those formed when exposed to negative thoughts or beliefs. If this is happening to just water – I can only imagine what a microwave is doing to the nutrients, energy of our food and to our bodies when we consume microwaved food. For the experiment pictured above, microwaved water produced a similar physical structure to when the words “satan” and “hitler” were repeatedly exposed to the water."

Science Based Medicine

"...the couple was upset about the girl's progress report, so Montanez put the bark collar around her neck and forced her to bark so the collar would shock her."

NBC

Live at the crime scene

Just what the world needed!—a web site where you can feel guilty for "damaging" your children! (the comments are if anything worse than the article):

"So . . . how did I give my son autism? The following are the biggest mistakes I made to which I attribute my son’s descent into autism. I’m going to provide links that are easily readable and understandable that contain links to the research rather than providing links to the research itself. A simple Google search about any one of these topics will provide more information than you could ever want. Here goes . . ."

There's nothing like po' buckers using Google University to fill in the gaps in their brains. (Thinking Moms Revolution)

"A US psychologist has warned of the dire consequences of a 'stunning rise' in 'vanity' names for kids, revealing that no less than 811 'Messiahs' were proclaimed during 2012, joining 243 Princesses, 588 Princes and a whopping 1,423 Kings on the list of newborns."

The Register

Game over