Our Wacky World—11/8/2012

Shock-horror! Obama thanks Satan on live TV! (this is a must-see).

[Once again it is clear that I cannot rely on my 2.5 readers to point out incorrect links. While the video linked above is amusing, the correct one deserves a viewing as well.]

Well, the 'lection is over and Obama won. Heads are exploding all over the place. Take, for example, Donald Trump:

"Donald Trump, who has driven well past the last exit to relevance and veered into something closer to irresponsible here, is tweeting tonight. Here's a sampling..."

Mail Online

Mr. Irrelevant

But before that epochal hissy fit there was the matter of Obama's nose job:

"In the aftermath of Donald Trump’s challenge to Obama to release his college and passport records in exchange for a $5 million donation to Obama’s charities, here’s another secret from Obama’s life of mystery and make-believe."

WND

That's a very interesting sentence, BTW. It's sort of like saying "After someone accused you of being a fraud, here's a picture of you looking like your dog". But wait, I see a link to a piece by "Uncle" Ben Kinchlow, Pat Robertson's former Afro-American co-star. He's quoting an anonymous female acquaintance:

"Any woman who is so shallow as to not see through the disdain for her gender and disregard for her intelligence by the relentless push to fall in line with the ideology of the left are as blind as those black Americans who can’t see the perpetual racial slight-of-hand being foisted upon them, regardless of how much information is available pointing to truth; truth, I might add, of which they are both willingly ignorant. If those women don’t wake up and learn what a real man is before Nov. 6, then they can continue to anticipate being treated like the second class citizens the liberals so passionately claim they are."

You can sort of see why most women didn't go for Romney. Note the quack medical links (see StemTech below). (Ben Kinchlow Blog)

You're a looney

"Yet, lawyer and Fox News Anchor Greta Van Susteren has defended the threats against international monitors: 'The election is none of their business. We ought to be able to police our own election.' Of course, that is precisely the same argument used in Iran, China, and other countries. It is another example of what is often referred to as 'American Exceptionalism' that we are simply unique and above the rules that we apply to other nations."

Turley's Blog

A vote for Jesus was one less vote for Mitt Romney. They racked up over 2 million pledges. And Obama won by how many votes? Scary, huh?

*** End Politics ***

"When the child refused to take the antibiotics and continued to have problems eating, the doctor reportedly advised the Staats to take the child to another medical professional or a hospital, according to the police report. The doctor reportedly described the boy's condition as critical. Michelle Staats allegedly told police she prayed about whether she should take the child to a hospital... When she thought about taking the boy to the hospital, she got an upset stomach. She allegedly interpreted the upset stomach as a sign from God she should continue trying to treat the child herself."

Columbia Basin Herald

"They called police which came right over . . . and arrested the couple in front of their nine-year-old child. They say it was the local Clayton police who were abusive — grabbing their phone and yelling at them. They told Keeley to stop lying and that they knew no one broke into the home. It is not clear why Keeley would call to report his own drugs."

Turley's Blog


As promised above, yet another woo company with a multi-level marketing scheme:

"StemEnhance is an important part of daily adult stem cell nutrition and works best when used in tandem with StemFlo®, which supports the healthy circulation of adult stem cells and nutrients, and ST-5 with MigraStem™, which supports the ability of adult stem cells to migrate into tissue.* 

"*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA."

StemTech

Also:

"In 2001, a citizen's group filed a suit in California objecting to 30 claims Cell Tech had made in brochures or on its Web site. In February 2003, the judge ruled that all of the challenged statements were deceptive. He banned their further use in California and ordered Cell Tech to refund the full purchase price to California consumers who purchased its algae products between October 1997 and September 2002"

MLM Watch

So what they're selling is potentially toxic algae. BTW, a list that I'm on was recently invaded by some bizarroid with a StemTech email domain. He proceeded to annoy me and everyone else. Do you suppose there's a connection?

Election over. Nothing else to see here. Cue the campaign for 2016...

Our Wacky World—10/26/2012

I wonder what happened to all those fake news sites selling Acai berries?

Here's some asshole doing the feeble Christian "The gays are taking my rights away" speech. Oh wait, he isn't an asshole after all (watch it all the way to the end). Now that's how it's done.

Top of the list

Here's a real hole-of-ass, Bryan "Douche" Fischer, getting the boot on live TV. I guess he'll go Mike Huckabee's radio show to complain. Elsewhere in wingnut land, conservative "scholar" Dinesh D’Souza has lost his cozy job. Even more amusing, here's what his (now ex) fiance has to say about women in America:

"In one blog post...she argued, amongst other things, that women’s suffrage was a terrible mistake. Well, 'argued' might be stretching it: the post is a long, barely coherent, free-associational rant laced not only with internalized misogyny but with racism and homophobia to boot."

Manboobz

Asked by reporters after the debate if he was saying that it’s never medically necessary to conduct an abortion to save the life of a mother, Walsh responded, “Absolutely. With modern technology and science, you can't find one instance... There is no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing.”

WGN

"Using the same PhD tested theological method I successfully defended in my PhD dissertation, I have developed a way to help you see the invisible spirits ruling in the heart of the 44th President."

Dispatches From The Culture Wars

PhD tested? Is that something like UL listed only with more circular reasoning?


How to make millions off of idiots:

"He had invented a pseudo-scientific theory he called 'global scaling', which he said allowed him to use gravitational waves to prevent electronic smog, use novel methods of scanning to be applied in medicine, and transmit 'information without any limits in quantity, quality or time'."

BBC

Climate Trolls—An Illustrated Bestiary:

"Some will pray [sic] on your admitted ignorance or uncertainty. Some will pray [sic] on your subconscious wish that climate change not be real or if it is, it will be benign. Some will seem to engage sincerely but seek only to lure you so deep into the rabbit hole you will be unable to return. Some will dazzle you with words so long and unfamiliar and thoughts so obscure and eccentric that you’ll feel you must believe. Some will simply badger and harass you until you can take no more. It is a harsh and dangerous world. This is why I wish to provide you a guide to these many and varied beings you will surely come across as you venture ever deeper into their native realm."

A Few Things Ill Considered


So Reddit's biggest troll got outed. Cue the inevitable howls of hypocrisy:

"All of a sudden, defense of 'free speech' became a secondary concern for Reddit management and they banned linking to Gawker from the site. Leaked text of Reddit moderator chats discussing the situation make it very clear that even those who don't think Gawker should be banned agree that the Gawker reporter did an awful thing. This deep hypocrisy in Reddit's position that posting names of child predators should be banned, but child predation should be protected by Reddit as 'free speech' is so blatantly obvious that one could almost stop there"

Fortunately, it doesn't stop there: the whole thing is excellent. (Almost Diamonds)

"Ronald Eugene Robinson...is accused of using enemas and then returning the “pre-packaged CVS Pharmacy Ready-to-Use enemas” to the shelves of a CVS pharmacy."

Turley's Blog

"Because California’s anti-pollution laws make it necessary to refine special gas for California alone, the oil companies have deliberately kept their refining capacity just barely above the minimum, so any short-term disruption means a huge price spike. This allows them to charge 30 cents per gallon more than in other states, since it is not in their interest to make the price of gas in California competitive.... Not surprisingly, oil companies have reported that their California refineries are consistently the most profitable in the U.S."

Skeptic Blog

"Yet another lawsuit has been filed against a Scientology-linked Oklahoma rehabilitation center in the wake of recent deaths at the facility... 32-year-old Gabriel Graves, of Claremore, was found dead in his room at the Pittsburg County facility."

KJRH

Click...

Feel like losing some? You could end up dead:

"Botanical Slimming Capsule is specially designed to effectively absorb the oil from food, discharge of the body, stop the grease ingress, prevent the fat accumulation comprehensively, accelerate the excess fat decompounds and consumption, rapidly drive the trash and toxin away, get slim in short time by body purification and detex."

Doubtful News


Consumption of chowmein leads to rape in India:

"To my understanding, consumption of fast food contributes to such incidents. Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts..."

Times Of India


How to increase profits—pay the musicians a lot less:

"Pandora is crying to congress for help because they can’t turn a profit by giving away content to users for free with limited exposure to advertising, and because they can’t get enough paying subscribers from their extensive base of 'free' listeners. If I were an investor, I’d sell immediately just like the insiders have been doing en masse, or at the very least I would demand some real answers from Tim Westergren on why he can’t make this business model 'work'."

And they bitch about people wanting everything for free. (The Register)


And Linsay Lohan is voting for...

Our Wacky World—10/12/2012

Feeling let down after ebay banished ghosts and woo? Fear not, there's a new auction site for that. And it's raining chicken in Assowoman, VA.

Remember all that bad stuff that happened after Obama was elected?:

• "homosexuals are now given special bonuses for enlisting in military service (to attempt to compensate for past discrimination)"
• "In mid-2010, Iran launched a nuclear bomb that exploded in the middle of Tel Aviv, destroying much of that city."
• "The waiting list for prostate cancer surgery is 3 years. The waiting list for ovarian cancer is 2 years... Because medical resources must be rationed carefully by the government, people older than 80 have essentially no access to hospitals or surgical procedures. Their 'duty' is increasingly thought to be to go home to die"
• "Gas costs more than $7 per gallon"

No, I don't, either. That last part actually has a chance of happening.  (Love, Joy, Feminism)

Click for more info

So what do card-carrying Republicans really think about Obamacare?:

"Weaver, 52, knows it would be difficult if not impossible to buy insurance on her own because of her disease, but she said she's not worried because she has good insurance through her job as a public school teacher in Dallas, where she's worked for 20 years. 'It's very hard to get rid of teachers,' she said. 'I'm very protective of my job. I document everything I do.'"

Oh the irony. Unions in Texas must be chock full of conservatives. (Crooks & Liars)


Linda McMahon, head honcho of World Wrestling Entertainment, has a fundamental problem with engaging on the issues during a debate:

"She stumbled through an answer in which she affirmed her support for 'America’s same sex marriage law.' There is, of course, no such thing, unless she means DOMA, which is sort of the opposite. And then she just stopped, with probably more than a minute left on her clock... She seemed inexplicably rattled by this benign, predictable and routine question. (This is what happens when you spend your whole campaign dodging the press. You turn into the kind of candidate who can’t improvise.)"

Crooks & Liars


Jerry Sandusky has decided to blame the real victims. This is a true predator's brain at work:

"Jerry and Dottie Sandusky did not ask the judge for mercy. They did not try to extol Jerry's virtues, list good deeds or express regret. Instead, they depicted the boys he sexually assaulted as ungrateful and called them liars... In letters to the judge who would sentence the former coach, the Sanduskys portrayed themselves as virtuous victims of a vast conspiracy. They blamed powerful, image-conscious forces at Penn State University, lying cops, ambitious prosecutors and a scandal-hungry news media."

Up until now there was still that million-to-one shot that Sandusky would admit his guilt or show some empathy. His own words have now clinched the diagnosis of classic psychopath entirely. His wife is, of course, the good enabler. (CNN)


The IRS has come calling with Kent Hovind's final tax bill:

"The main issue was about whipsawing. Mr. and Mrs. Hovind did not file returns. They were both involved in the financial transactions of the enterprises and they lived together. That makes it hard for the IRS to sort out which of them should be taxed on the unreported income. They are married, but filing a joint return is an election. The solution is for the IRS to send a deficiency notice to each of them for 100% of the tax. With interest and penalties the balance for the years 1998 to 2006 is over $3,000,000."

I love the fact that he went to the trouble of explaining who Hovind is, as most of his readers probably never heard of him. Spread the news. (Forbes)

"A teenage girl who had her stomach removed and 'nearly died' after drinking a cocktail containing liquid nitrogen was the victim of a 'irresponsible alcohol industry'"

Mail Online

"A 32-year-old man downed dozens of roaches and worms [probably mealworm larvae] to win a python at a Florida reptile store, then collapsed and died outside minutes later."

CNN

"...Lacks urged his employees to 'vote to improve your standard of living' in a letter notifying them of their sixth bonus in almost three years thanks to the good times his automotive parts company has enjoyed. But Lacks was not about to give Obama any credit for the auto industry’s recovery. He told his employees the Affordable Care Act, which he called Obama Care, will raise his company’s health insurance costs by 2 percent a year."

Michigan Live

"So powerful is the allure of gays...that if society approves that gay people, more and more heterosexuals will be inexorably drawn into homosexuality. 'People in homosexuality are incredibly evangelical... It's pure sexuality. It's almost like pure heroin. It's such a rush. They are committed in almost a religious way. And they'll take enormous risks, do anything.' 'Martial sex tends toward the boring end...' 'Generally, it doesn't deliver the kind of sheer sexual pleasure that homosexual sex does'"

Crommunist

Also:

"The American Center for Law and Justice, Pat Robertson’s legal wing, has fired James Henderson, a senior attorney for the organization and a professor at Regent University law school, after a pair of blogs showed evidence that he was involved in two gay relationships."

Dispatches From The Culture Wars


That New Age sells—and people with more money than brains are buying:

"In his book The Authenticity Hoax: How We Get Lost Finding Ourselves, author and philosopher Andrew Potter alleges that the urge to seek out increasingly alternative ways of living – of being – is the result of a deep-seated discomfort with being a part of society – with conforming. For Potter, the increasingly bizarre social movements, fads, and ‘counter-cultural’ expressions of identity reflect a sort of dissatisfaction with contemporary society, and are the manifestation of a desire to ‘opt out’.

 ✂...

"We tear out our hardwood floors and replace it with Amazonian river mud, or we embrace our new shamanic existence by dropping a few thousand dollars on a spiritual retreat. In short, we declare our rejection of consumer culture by choosing to employ a new pattern of consumption. We consume the trappings and accoutrements of our new alternative lifestyle, and while doing so consume the fantasy that we’ve left consumerism behind."

Crommunist

Meanwhile, Dr. Andrew Weil is still going, poorly:

"Weil stumbled out on stage. He was hobbled over, flabby, and he looked as though he was in pain. He coughed throughout the performance. He was hardly a picture of health for a talk about health, although the talk was an afterthought. Weil waxed freeform about nutrition, healthy aging and breathing. When he stuck to medicine, he made some sense, offering some sensible advice about preventative healthcare, nutrition, and exercise. But the 'devil' mixes lies with truth."

JREF

"...the parents were required to take their children to a court of law and lay out their case...and let the judicial authority determine if the child should be put to death. I know of many cases of rebellious children, however, I cannot think of one case where I believe that a parent had given up on their child to the point that they...asked the court to rule that the child be put to death. Even though this procedure would rarely be used, if it were the law of land, it would give parents authority. Children would know that their parents had authority and it would be a tremendous incentive for children to give proper respect to their parents."

That'll teach the little bastards. (Arkansas Times)

"The radical Christians have replaced the Apple logo with a cross, claiming that the current Apple logo – well-known around the world and often voted one of the world's most popular logos – symbolises the original sin of Adam and Eve and is generally insulting to the Christian faith."

Don't buy Apple products, then. (The Register)


You might be so jaded at this point that this sentence doesn't even make you want to click the link. Trust me, it gets much wackier:

“We think that the public – even those members of the public who register the lowest scores on the sensitivity index – do not expect their judges to be conducting photo sessions featuring the judicial penis and then to be sending the photos over the electronic airwaves to another person.”

Turley's Blog


I guess I won't be buying a car from this dealer:

"He said his staff erred when they sold the SUV to Sawyer for about $5,600 too little and erred again when they went to police. He said Sawyer should not have been arrested and definitely should not have spent four hours in jail."

Pilot Online


What could possibly go wrong with this?

"In Brazil, a new regulation requires drivers to add radio ID tags to their car windshields, which broadcast 'vehicle year or fabrication, make, model, combustible, engine power and license plate number.' This will be read by checkpoints throughout the country, and centrally processed and retained, in a system called Siniav. The administration claims that this system will be 'confidential and secure' because its contractors will sign confidentiality agreements."

BoingBoing

Shipping shipping