Sunday, November 8, 2015

Our Wacky World—11/8/2015

Thank “Bob” we have 12 months before the election. There is so much more to learn about front runner Ben Carson, M.D:
'At the core of his narrative of spiritual redemption are his acts of violence as an angry young man — stabbing, rock throwing, brick hurling and baseball bat beating — that preceded Carson's sudden transformation into the composed figure who stands before voters today.

'...nine friends, classmates and neighbors who grew up with Carson told CNN they have no memory of the anger or violence the candidate has described.

'Carson's campaign adviser and business manager, Armstrong Williams, declined repeated requests by CNN to provide details… "Why would anyone cooperate with your obvious witch hunt?" Williams wrote in an email last Friday. "No comment and moving on...... Happy Halloween!!!!!”'
It’s a “witch hunt” to ask for corroboration of odd statements a man running for president has made publicly? (CNN)

The funniest thing about about religion and politics over the last 35 years is how “christians” who traditionally hate each others’ guts have come together to fight their perceived common enemies. In 2012 they finally embraced a Mormon, now it’s a Seventh-Day Adventist. I suppose the Jehovah’s Witnesses will enter the fold in 2020.

Yeah, I used this graphic last time
Back to Ben:
"Ben Carson claims that the Egyptian pyramids were constructed by the biblical Joseph to store huge quantities of grain and were not, as is commonly believed, tombs for the pharaohs.”
'Carson claims that he came up with the idea for a musical based on the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors during a surgical consultation with a patient named Jacob Brandman… in 1998, 30 years after [the musical] Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat premiered. However, when pushed for comment on this issue, Carson responded that he was in fact aware of the existing musical production in 1998, but that “The Bible calls it a coat of many colors, but in those days the only colors were black and white, as you can see in old television footage. My belief is that the coat was black, white and brown – the first time anyone had ever seen brown. That story has yet to be told.” 

He’s not the first to make such an astute chromatic observation. From a story I posted in 2012:
"Our moon, he explains, is not a grey-colored object as we have been led to believe. Our moon is a full color body, but NASA has only released black-and-white photos of it. However, an amateur astronomer in Texas named Bill Bryson has been able, using his telescope and a $68 Chinese-made camera, to reveal our moon in all its full-color glory."
So umm...what color was Noah's rainbow? Anyone? Hello…?

[the next day]
"Ben Carson’s campaign on Friday admitted, in a response to an inquiry from POLITICO, that a central point in his inspirational personal story was fabricated: his application and acceptance into the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.”

'Carson shrugged off critics, scientists and other experts who have dispute his theories. 
'"Some people believe in the Bible like I do and don’t find that to be silly at all"'
Where is this in the bible? (Raw Story)

Dr. Carson is also an astute user of social media:

Yes, he actually tweeted this.
So if you need brain surgery don’t go to a professional neurosurgeon… like Dr. Carson. (RealBenCarson)
[the next day]
'Ben Carson responded to those who says [sic] he doesn’t have enough experience to be president with this staggeringly ignorant statement: “Every signer of the Declaration of Independence had no elected office experience.”
‘[in fact] most of them had elected office experience. But what cracks me up is how he is trying to cover up his ignorance, by changing it to “federal elected office experience.” Uh, Ben….of course they didn’t have any federal elected office experience. You know why? Because there wasn’t a fucking federal government then.’
Emphasis in the original text. (Dispatches From The Culture Wars)

[the next day]

Next he trots out the old "christian nation" shiboleth:
'This nation — the United States of America — one of the few nations in history to claim God in their founding documents — we talk about in our Declaration of Independence certain inalienable rights given to us by our Creator, every one of our coins, every one of our bills says ‘In God We Trust.’”…
‘[Carson] has the history here completely reversed. In fact, nearly every western nation “claimed God” in their founding documents for centuries until the United States [didn’t].’
Dispatches From The Culture Wars

I’m stopping here. I’m not even going to go into his involvement in a “nutritional supplement” marketing scheme, which he denied at first and later...

— ⚕ —

More on the "christians who hate each other while they need each other" theme mentioned earlier—a protest at a “satanic” church wasn’t entirely peaceful:
"There was a heavy police presence, and the protests were largely peaceful, except for a few moments before dark when members from two groups of protesters — one Catholic organization from Pennsylvania, and the other consisting of some sort of doomsday-preachers from Las Vegas — began arguing with each other over whose sect of Christianity was correctly following Jesus.”
Houston Press

"We've seen some questionable crowdfunding campaigns in our time, but this one might take the cake. A Russian outfit is raising money for USB Killer, a $99 dongle that thwarts data thieves by... electrocuting your USB port.”
Seems a bit expensive to me but what do I know? (Endgadget)

Roger Waters fears Hilary Clinton:
"I have an awful worry that she might become the first woman president to drop a fucking nuclear bomb on somebody”
As opposed to the first man president? (Rolling Stone)

Which oath to uphold?
"The Montana Supreme Court’s Office of Disciplinary Counsel (ODC) recommended Thursday that Elmer “Stewart” Rhodes, Montana lawyer and founder of the [paranoid far-right group] Oath Keepers, be disbarred for violating his attorney oath”

Click to enlarge
Absolutely mind blowing:
‘...recently I had this young woman, 15 maybe, and we did the procedure. I said, ‘Your uterus is empty, the procedure is over. I have to go check to make sure we got everything,’ and I left the room to examine the tissue. Then I came back and told her, ‘Everything’s fine, your uterus is healthy.’ And she said, ‘So … when are you going to use the steel ball?’ I picked my jaw up off the floor and said, ‘Steel ball?’ She said, ‘Well, I went to the crisis pregnancy center and they told me you’re going to put a steel ball that’s covered with sharp blades into my uterus and twirl it around.’ And this kid still came! I was thinking, How did you ever make yourself walk in the office believing I was going to do that?”’
NY Mag

Now let’s get down and dirty. Another horny “christian” male tries really hard to get his dick wet but ends up sticking it in his mouth:

'Let me try and explain this in another way. In Greek mythology there was a monster woman named Medusa. She was a cursed and hideous creature and if men looked upon her face they were turned to stone. I know you love your wife, most men love their wives. But sin is ugly. Your beautiful bride’s face becomes ugly during this sinful time that she is grudgingly giving you sex as she grimaces wanting you to “just hurry up and get it over with”.

'So like the men who could not look at Medusa’s face otherwise they would be killed, realize that if you look on your wife’s face when she is displaying a sinful attitude toward sex it will kill your sexual pleasure and may actually make it much more difficult for you to achieve the physical connection and release that you need. Again you know you want that emotional connection too, but your wife is the one who is in sinful rebellion against God’s design for sex in your marriage and is refusing to emotionally connect with you.’

He goes on and on like this. In order to explain his utterly fucked “christian” version of the minefield of marital sex he has to invoke a Greek myth! The sound of ass. (Biblical Gender Roles)

"A key ingredient in a CVS homeopathic medicine, the kind people choose when they want something more "natural" than an over-the-counter product, is alcohol. The packaging on CVS's homeopathic constipation relief describes it as safe and non-habit forming. The bottle, which listed 20 percent alcohol as an inactive ingredient, is sold over the counter with no age requirements.”
Contains no pharmaceutical substances but it does a nice kick to it. (NBC)

Don’t give your kids an education because… The Rapture™:
"17-year-old Tori McIntyre ran away from home because she wanted an education, but was unable to provide any information about what level she was at. The El Paso school district put her in 9th grade and asked the family to prove that their kids were getting a basic education. Requests to the parents for cooperation were rebuffed, so the district eventually filed truancy charges.”

"Chief Justice Ann Crawford McClure of the 8th Court of Appeals wrote: “No parents have ever prevailed in any reported case on a theory that they have an absolute constitutional right to educate their children in the home, completely free of any state supervision, regulation, or requirements.”
Reverb Press

Depressingly familiar:
"She would later tell a judge she was splayed outside the patrol car for a pat-down, made to lift her shirt to prove she wasn't hiding anything, then to pull down her pants when the officer still wasn't convinced. He shined his flashlight between her legs, she said, then ordered her to sit in the squad car and face him as he towered above. His gun in sight, she said she pleaded "No, sir" as he unzipped his fly and exposed himself with a hurried directive. "Come on," the woman, identified in police reports as J.L., said she was told before she began giving him oral sex. "I don't have all night." 
"In a yearlong investigation of sexual misconduct by U.S. law enforcement, The Associated Press uncovered about 1,000 officers who lost their badges in a six-year period for rape, sodomy and other sexual assault; sex crimes that included possession of child pornography; or sexual misconduct such as propositioning citizens or having consensual but prohibited on-duty intercourse.”
Big Story

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Monday, October 26, 2015

Our Wacky World— 10/26/2015

Almost a Darwin Award:
"Man tries to put out garbage fire by driving over it in a van loaded with ammunition"
Kansas City Star

Matt Drudge: idiot, liar, both?
"I had a Supreme Court Justice come up to me and say to my face it is over for me. Matt, it is over for you, they've got the votes to enforce copyright laws, you're out of there. They're going to make it so you can't even use headlines.To have a Supreme Court Justice say that to my face, that it is over, they've got the votes. It means time is limited. Time is not forever, how many more moons and sunrises will you see in your life rise and fall, not that many, it is a small amount.”​
Both. And a narcissist. (Esquire)

The comments to this are great. The usual idiots show up:
"With the rise of both marijuana use and public support growing, this could make for a precarious political issue for politicians in a presidential election year. Forget about the chicken in every pot, these citizens just want the pot.”
Jonathan Turley

Ben Carson M.D., who like so many right-wing talking heads has bafflingly become relevant in our time, rather like comets appearing from out of nowhere one night on Fox News (or returned from purgatory after an unexpectedly less-than-perpetural period of public disgrace). Carson is the classic intelli-educated screwball in whose mind all things make sense without a requisite basis in fact:

"What is it with brain surgeons? The strange ideas of leading GOP presidential candidate and retired brain surgeon Ben Carson have been making the headlines a lot lately… The statements that Carson has made are staggeringly ignorant for a man with an advanced science education.”

And now he’s being "threatened" by “progressives”:
“I’d prefer not to talk about security issues but I have recognized — and people have been telling me for many many months — that I’m in great danger, because I challenge the secular progressive movement to the very core”
People have been "telling him." (Dispatches From The Culture Wars)

'A regular guest commentator on Fox News who has been lying for years about working for the Central Intelligence Agency was arrested on federal authorities following his indictment by a federal grand jury for allegedly committing major fraud, wire fraud, and making false statements to the government. Simmons claims to have worked for the CIA from 1973 to 2000, and "used that false claim in an attempt to obtain government security clearances and work as a defense contractor, including at one point successfully getting deployed overseas as an intelligence advisor to senior military personnel”'
Huffington Post

"China was tired of the Nobel people giving a human rights price to human rights advocates, particularly Chinese dissents or the Dali Lama. So it created its own prize to give those hard-working dictators an opportunity to shine. So this year, China is honoring a man who has destroyed the economy of Zimbabwe, starved his people, oppressed dissidents, and maintained one of the most disgusting levels of corruption and personal excess of any dictator in the world.”
Jonathan Turley

Carly Fiorina has a moment of startling clarity:
“Finally my degree in medieval history and philosophy has come in handy… because what ISIS wants to do is drive us back to the Middle Ages, literally.”
So your degree was worthless before? (Sun Times)

'But the session became violent, the police chief said. "Both brothers were continually subjected to physical punishment over the course of several hours in the hopes that each would confess to prior sins and ask for forgiveness” ...Leonard was taken to the hospital after church members found he wasn't breathing, Inserra said. He was pronounced dead at the hospital.’
‘… [an] ex-member denied reports the church is a cult. "I realize this situation makes it look like this," she said, "but if you listen to the teachings, they are accurate to the Bible.”'
But then everyone does "what the bible says," don't they? (CNN)

"Lucas Leonard, a 19-year-old whose family was immersed in Word of Life’s secretive practices, said that he was the [witch], that he wanted church elders to die and that he had considered making a voodoo doll of a church leader.”
New York Times

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Our Wacky World—10/4/2015

From the great and... well, the terrible Rush Limbaugh:
“Don't know how long it's going to take, but this news that there is flowing water on Mars is somehow going to find its way into a technique to advance the leftist agenda.”

Why stop there?:
"‘Dems and Leftists’ Want to Genetically Modify Us to Combat Climate Change”

Yogi Berra, great philosopher, dead at 90. "It ain't over 'till it's over” is one worthy of Sun Tzu. Rene Déscartes? Also-ran.

"The man charged in a California kidnapping that police initially dismissed as a hoax told a television news reporter he had a psychotic break and a side effect from a vaccine was to blame in part for his behavior"
Doubtful News (original article unavailable)

An historic breakthrough:
"An English historian has come across the word ‘fuck’ in a court case dating to the year 1310, making it the earliest known reference to the swear word.”
Swear word? I thought it was an obscenity. (Medievalists)

'At a council meeting this month, Goodman explained how drooping denim is “disrespectful,” a bad example to children, and bars the wearer from gainful employment. He told his colleagues what he told a Daily Beast reporter: “I prayed about this. I know that God would not go around with pants down.”'

Carly Fiorina’s HP legacy is costing her contributions—from former employees:
“I don’t care if she’s a Democrat, Republican, or Independent. I would not support her for president,” Soderstrom said. “I would not give her two cents.”
Daily Beast

"The Australian government is fighting back against the unrelenting terrorist threat that threatens to consume every Western nation. It, too, has noticed that youngsters and their SnapChats are particularly prone to radicalization from outside forces. As Richard Chirgwin of the Register points out, it has chosen to address this threat to Australian society in the way only a government agency can: with a blend of the bizarre and the tone deaf.”

‘...public interest organizations raised alarm over his company buying a long-used medicine, Daraprim, in the treatment of AIDS and immediately raised the price of $13.50 a pill to $750 a pill. When a reporter asked him to explain the increase for a drug that has been on the market for 62 years, Shkreli called him a “moron” and refused to answer the question.’
Turley's Blog

"...hiking the price of a drug by 5,000 percent just because you can invites...government meddling, which is why the pharmaceutical industry isn't happy with Turing."
Chicago Tribune

How to torture your child:
'Although the patient was recovering, it appears that the team was at a loss until the child’s parents revealed a game-changing piece of information later in the admission. Six months before his pain and other worrisome symptoms began, they had sought treatment for his eczema from a “natural health practitioner.”'
Science-Based Medicine

"Donald Trump spoke at the Values Voters Summit on Friday...and told the crowd that if he’s elected president, people will damn well say Merry Christmas in department stores because, in the bizarro world he lives in, no one says that phrase anymore."
Dispatches From The Culture Wars

"If the goal of the pro-life movement actually were to end abortion, both tactics and results would be radically different. Imagine a fictional person whose chief life goal is to reduce abortion by, say, 90 percent over the next 20 years. It might come as a surprise to the audience of today’s antiabortion theater—but our protagonist’s goal is attainable. Armed with just the information and technologies available today, someone genuinely committed to reducing abortion by 90 percent in 20 years could map out a plan to get there—and even make people’s lives better in the process.”
But then that’s not what it’s about, is it? (Salon)

Let us once again visit one of my least favorite topicsthe shit that will not die:
“The fact that this asshole has the audacity to offer expert testimony today is amazing. Ultimately, an eight-year-old kid was murdered, and I feel the medical professionals involved in that case are culpable and they’ve never been held accountable.”

“Americans prefer black-and-white problems with simple answers… Part of the appeal of Satanic ritual abuse was that when someone we knew molested a child after our protection efforts had failed, it was easier to escape guilt by blaming it on an evil Satanist...”
So did a dingo ate the baby? Don’t even bother to Google that. (Pacific Standard)

"Today, the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit ruled that copyright holders like Universal must consider fair use before trying to remove content from the Internet. It also rejected Universal’s claim that a victim of takedown abuse cannot vindicate her rights if she cannot show actual monetary loss.”

'States that defended same-sex marriage bans...are now being asked to pay the legal fees for those litigants under a 40-year-old federal law that says the court “in its discretion, may allow the prevailing party … a reasonable attorney’s fee as part of the costs.” Or as Michigan attorney Dana Nessel put it: “It’s the price governments pay for defending bigotry.”'
al Jazeera

Monday, August 31, 2015

Our Wacky World—8/31/2015

Oliver Sacks, M.D.  dead at 82:
'Dr. Sacks discomfited some readers, who maintained that he capitalized on his patients’ suffering to form handy parables. Tom Shakespeare, a British disability rights activist, called him “the man who mistook his patients for a literary career.”'
Yeah, right. They said the same sort of shit about Carl Sagan's celebrity. Just can’t please everybody. Titicut Follies, anyone?

Sacks filled a gap that no one else did. Having read most of his books I find the criticism misplaced except for the possibility of his having been fooled by some charlatans, specifically some patients considered “savants”.  (Washington Post)

Ten years after Hurricane Katrina the lies are still going strong:
"There was, of course, the purported chaos at the city’s two shelters of last resort: the Superdome and the Convention Center. The rape and murder of a 7-year-old girl at the convention center, dozens of killings at the Superdome, bodies piled up at both. 
"But by the end of September 2005, reporting by The Times-Picayune debunked many of these stories. In fact, officials only confirmed one killing at either site: Danny Brumfield, who was shot by police."
The Lens

Well fuck me
'One of the “rarest creatures in the world” has been spotted for only the third time ever off the coast of Papua New Guinea by a US biologist.’
We can photograph a rare animal in the wild but there’s not so much as a decent shot of Bigfoot, let alone any bones. What does this tell you? (Doubtful News)

The latest issue of Skeptical Inquirer has an apalling article by one of the “guerilla skeptics” saying that all the talk of a Wikipedia “conspiracy” is just a “myth.” Here’s an overview of what’s really happening there (among other things):
'...the only hard conclusion I can reach is rather simple: that Wikipedia as an active community is dying, and no one can stop it. Because it is based on lies. The content? Hell with that. It was just the "honeypot" to build the community.'
Wikipedia Sucks Badly

How to make creationism sound… better, through bad science:
'If I'm holding a rock in my hand and I educate you that it has always existed, since infinite time in the past, and it's going to be around for infinite time in the future, do I need to stoop and concoct some ridiculous fairytale as to "What created the rock ?” NO ! It has ALWAYS existed . . . Period ! When things don't have "beginnings" and "ends", there's no need to entertain juvenile thoughts of "Where did it all come from ?". 
[C- so far for the really bad grammar etc. I don't have time to insert "sic" everywhere.]
'IF . . . you understand this, please help us. We are in a new era of atheism and need to unite this world. We can't be presenting ourselves as buffoons to the religious world. We're asking you for a puny $ 10 to assist us in spreading this HISTORIC awakening. 3 months from now you certainly won't be hurting that you gave 10 dollars, so why hesitate ?’
Are you saying that this theoretical “rock” has existed forever? As in “before our solar system formed” and “before the super nova that created the transferric elements in our solar system?”

What happens when our sun becomes a red giant? (sorry, it has to run out of fusible material some time). Where will this planet be then? Forget the fucking rock…

The only thing remotely infinite here is the sheer vacuity of this pseudo-scientific ass-cheekery. When did YOU turn up, son?

Big Bang No No No

'Our “Conspira-Sea Cruise and Seminar-at-Sea” takes place right on our luxury cruise ship during our seven-day cruise, in conference rooms on the ship, and during our port calls in Mexico. During this incredible, mind-blowing, truth-telling, spiritually enriching event, we will do our best to uncover the truth about things conspiratorial, including: 
'GMOs, Monsanto, bee colony collapse, ecology, global warming, climate change, fracking, HIV, autism, big pharma, medical suppression, vaccinations, flouridation [sic], political corruption, government corruption, forbidden archeology, forbidden religion, Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law, martial law, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, JFK, cover-ups, September 11, Star Wars agenda, nuclear plants, chemtrails, HAARP, crop circles, IRS, MK-Ultra, Fukashima [sic], NASA, NSA, Bilderbergs, sustainability, military industrial complex, pentagon [sic], Waco, Malaysia 370, Pan Am 103, TWA 800, Gulf Oil Spill, Halliburton, Obama, Ruby Ridge, OK City, Vatican, New World Order, false flags, Montauk, privacy, surveillance, Area 51, Dulce, Project Rainbow, Nazi Bell, Vrill, U.S.S. Eldridge, Iron Mountain, psyops, population mangement [sic], subliminal ads, Nibiru / Planet X, Cointel Pro, technology suppression, entity possession, electoral fraud, identity chips, 2nd amendment, and so much more.’
Did they forget anything? (Science Based Medicine)

'“You know there isn’t a single hamburger to be found on Taco Bell’s menu,” Clem asked our interviewer rhetorically while adding, “there is nothing more American than a hamburger. So I have to ask, what is about America that Taco Bell hates?” Would it kill them to put a nice steak and potato meal on their menu? I mean, steak and potatoes is American as fuck. But no, it’s all taco this and burrito that. It’s offensive to me…'
Hoax site.

Some good ones on Turlely's blog this month...
"Teixeira has been a regular critic of the mayor and officials in the City of Inglewood and has posted excerpts from city council video recordings. In an outrageous act, the city responded to the criticism by accusing him of infringing copyright laws in posting public meetings.”
Jonathan Turley

"There is another gruesome case of practicing medicine without a license in Florida where Mark D. Schreiber, 60, is accused of mutilating a patient’s penis while attempting to remove an implant from it. It probably should have tipped off the victim that something was not quite right when he was sent to meet Dr. Mark at a warehouse to pay him $1,000 cash to remove the implant.”
Jonathan Turley

"Florida Mom Jailed After She Allegedly Abandoned Kids In Running Car To Drink And Had 4-Year-Old Son Use Breathalyzer To Start Car”
Jonathan Turley

'Deaths related to the main 1.6 million a year, or 17 percent of China’s mortality level... “When I was last in Beijing, pollution was at the hazardous level: Every hour of exposure reduced my life expectancy by 20 minutes… It’s as if every man, woman and child smoked 1.5 cigarettes each hour.”'
Washington Post

"‘Fake’ Doctor Prescribed Ventura County Cancer Patient Bag of Dirt, Charged Her $2,000”

Here’s the good “doctor”’s web site.

"I got a phone call on the phone telling me to bring the delivery back, saying that I couldn't do the delivery," Bradley said... "I asked him why I couldn't do it and he said because you're black and they don't want you at the house… I thought that Lowe's would take up for me."
IB Times

"At least 3,500 Americans have been detained inside a Chicago police warehouse described by some of its arrestees as a secretive interrogation facility, newly uncovered records reveal. Of the thousands held in the facility known as Homan Square over a decade, 82% were black. Only three received documented visits from an attorney, according to a cache of documents obtained when the Guardian sued the police.”

Monday, August 3, 2015

Our Wacky World—8/3/2015

We came in peace for all Whitemankind:
'While the parade of Confederate flags were passing through [the 77% black] town, video captured what appeared to be a bottle of water being thrown at Oliver's truck. "My initial reaction was, 'What the hell?'" Oliver recalled, adding that he could not understand why he had not been welcomed into the community.’
Crooks & Liars

Jesus is down with oral sex because god made men horny:
“...most doctors advice [sic] women not to have vaginal intercourse for 6 to 8 weeks after giving birth. If a man were to try and have vaginal sex with his wife during this period it would be highly painful for her and it might cause complications with her healing process. But that does not mean a woman cannot meet her husband’s sexual needs in other ways during this time. God has given her the ability to manually or orally satisfy her husband in order to meet his sexual needs...”
Very small penis and an apparently bottomless ass. He digs the hole deeper in the (mostly very negative) comments so you might want to appall yourself even more by reading them:
"Look up Stockholm Syndrome, Sarah, because what you and the writer of this blog are advocating fall under that disorder. If there is a war against Christianity, you people are on the forefront of the destroying army; this swill turns more people against Christ."
Gosh, what would Jesus say? "Bloody WANKERS" (Biblical Gender Roles)

Have to pay for all that neon
"Rene Quinton did experiments on abandoned dogs in 1897. In one experiment he completely removed a dog’s blood and replaced it with diluted seawater. The dog developed an infection and fever, but recovered and by the eighth day had become exaggeratedly exuberant and ran about wildly. Five years later the dog was still alive and well. 
"Based on this experiment, some people have suggested sea water could be used as a substitute for blood transfusions, which would be a great boon for Jehovah’s Witnesses if it worked.”
Science Based Medicine

Looks like the free ride is over in the UK. Cameron speaks:
“For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens: as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone. It’s often meant we have stood neutral between different values. And that’s helped foster a narrative of extremism and grievance.”

'It is hard to see how much unpopular speech would not pose a “risk of harassment, alarm, or distress.” I am not even sure what “creating a threat to the function of democracy” means. More importantly, speakers will not know what the government will view as violating such ill-defined terms.'
Jonathan Turley

"Ninety-five percent of women who have had abortions do not regret the decision to terminate their pregnancies… The conclusion comes after a three-year research period involving nearly 670 women of all social backgrounds"

The great Kevin Trudeau payback is about to begin:
'The plan greenlighted by U.S. District Judge Robert Gettleman calls for the Federal Trade Commission to send several rounds of checks to purchasers of the hit book The Weight Loss Cure 'They' Don’t Want You to Know About using an address list turned over after the government sued Trudeau for lying about the contents of the book in his infomercials.'
Doubtful News

What a fucking surprise:
"Arizona tested more than 87,000 welfare recipients in the three years after the program began. The total number of drug cheats caught was exactly one — a single positive result, which saved the state precisely $560. 
"The net savings reaped from withholding benefits for those who either tested positive or failed to complete a drug test was around $3,500, once the $500 cost of testing the 19 is factored in, according to one state agency report. The haul is especially unimpressive when you consider the $1.7 million in savings state officials promised when they unveiled the program.”
Be sure to read the rest of it—it just increases in stupidity. Of course, their big mistake was not being conservative enough. They’ll try harder next time. (Policy Mic)

"God bless Ms. Coulter and hopefully some churches can throw in a prayer or two that she never has to sniff a fart by some uncouth immigrants in a crowded New York subway car, and her soul be saved from perdition. Maybe, a hymn can be rendered immediately to have her finely toned legs walk only on the finest of Persian red carpets in rooms full of Italian chandeliers instead of what Dominique Lapierre endured in the Pilkhana slum in Calcutta, living amongst lepers, to write the City of Joy. May degenerate peasant cultures never intrude on her lifestyle as she eats some artisan bread made by ‘peasants’."
American Bazaar

"Can you please not criticize Ann Coulter by talking about her prominent Adam’s apple, or saying she looks like a man? It’s sexist, and it’s transphobic. It’s sexist because you’re criticizing a woman in the public sphere by insulting her appearance, when that shouldn’t be relevant. And it’s both sexist and transphobic to insult women by saying they look like men: it reinforces the rigid gender binary, and reinforces the gender policing of trans people. There are approximately 879,500,403 legitimately negative things you can say about Ann Coulter. There’s no need to resort to sexism and transphobia. Thanks."
Yeah. (Greta Christina)

An exciting new form of ancient Chinese reflexology!:
"Pimples between the brows indicate an overloaded liver. People with pimples between the brows experience chest tightness, heart irregularity. May also be caused by bangs/hair fringe, as filth and bacteria accumulation from dirty hair stains the skin.

"Pimples near the eyes and nose indicate poor liver function. You are probably very tired, sleep very little, and are under constant stress. Your diet lacks essential nutrients."
Bun Bun Makeup Tips

"At the Y-12 facility, in addition to the three fences the protestors had to cut through with wire-cutters, there were cameras and motion detectors. But we too easily forget that technology has to be maintained and watched to be effective. ...20 percent of the Y-12 cameras were not working on the night the activists broke in. Cameras and motion detectors that had been broken for months had gone unrepaired. A security guard was chatting rather than watching the feed from a camera that did work. And guards ignored the motion detectors, which were so often set off by local wildlife that they assumed all alarms were false positives.”
The Bulletin Of The Atomic Scientists

'A French court on Tuesday jailed a woman, known as "Madame Yoghurt" for three years for conning thousands into buying a kit to make "magic cheese" that they could sell back to French cosmetics companies for use in luxury beauty products.'
The Local

"Dr. Schwartz started working with sub-audible sounds that interact with the same frequencies of human, biological cells. Being able to reprogram our cellular biology has led to major advancements in some of today’s most challenging health conditions. As Dr. Schwartz’s own research progressed, he began exploring the healing effects of musical instruments and other audible frequencies on the human body. This profound work provided the foundation for Bioharmonic Technologies and served as the origin of the Tonal Alchemy Series. Bioharmonic Technologies is currently working on a wide variety of healing music projects. Each CD will provide the customer with a unique listening experience while creating a lasting, therapeutic effect on one’s physical, emotional, and spiritual body."
Bioharmonic Technolgies

"The Raelian Movement...made a formal request to the government of Portugal asking it to build an embassy for extraterrestrials in the country. This space would serve not only as a diplomatic mission but also for the landing of spacecrafts. In a total area of 4,000 square meters (approximately 43,056 square feet), there would still be an expansive lawn, swimming pool, meeting room and accommodation aimed to the rest of the intergalactic visitors."
Folha de S.Paulo

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Our Wacky World—7/8/2015

"Donald Feathertone, creator of the iconic pink plastic flamingo that has decorated lawns for decades, died Monday… Featherstone died one day before National Pink Flamingo Day, a day created in his honor in 2007 by Dean Mazzarella, mayor of Leominster, Massachusetts, to honor the 50th anniversary of the plastic flamingo's creation in his town."

Safety last; so little time, so many ways to die:
'Russian Interior Ministry concerned about the increasing incidence of trauma and even death when trying to make a unique self. Each of these cases can be prevented. To this end, the Russian Interior Ministry memo created "Safe Self", designed to draw attention, first of all young people to this problem. We have tried to visualize, in the form of icons, represent the most traumatic cases the creation of self, thus to warn citizens against undue risk for a memorable picture. 
'When a person is trying to take a picture of himself - he scattered attention, he lost his balance, he does not look around and did not feel in danger. Do Self, making sure that you are in a safe place and your life is not in danger!'

The high resolution pdf of the entire brochure is here.

Hillary Rodham, rebel
"Despite the fact that Dinesh D’souza is a convicted felon and a serial liar, he is still something of a folk hero on the far right... To his followers, whether or not his attacks against Democratic political leaders are accurate or not is largely irrelevant… However, by circulating a doctored photo of Hillary Clinton, Dinesh D’Souza has merely confirmed what was already obvious to all but the cable news networks and his most ardent right-wing supporters. Dinesh D’Souza lacks intellectual honesty and critical discernment, and he doesn’t have an ounce of integrity."
Politics USA

“...Gavrilo Princip. Most of the world view him as a fanatic who triggered World War I with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. However, Serbia just honored him with a statue — commemorated by President Tomislav Nikolic, who heralded Princip as a freedom fighter and hero.”
Jonathan Turley

What dyslexia looks like:
"A graphic designer, ...he designed a typeface that is intentionally difficult to read. Because it slows down reading time, it's meant to simulate how it feels to read with dyslexia."

"Some 553 patients were given the unnecessary cancer treatments to 553 patients before Fata was arrested in 2013. He was accused of $35 million in Medicare fraud. He pleaded guilty in the fall to fraud, money laundering and conspiracy charges.”
Jonathan Turley

Now for the really fun stuff. Let’s start off with the latest twist in the Duggar Family Molestation Saga™:
"A non-Duggar family molestation victim is preparing to file a civil suit against Josh Duggar, sources tell In Touch magazine exclusively in the new issue on newsstands today. 
"The shocking development means that Josh and his parents Jim Bob and Michelle could be forced to give depositions and testify about Josh’s molestation scandal. The Duggars likely will have to answer every question as they will not be able to invoke their Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination because the criminal statute of limitations has expired.”
Emphasis added. Let the amnesia begin. (In Touch Weekly)

Religiosity vs. secularism—the latest poll results and the reasons for the changes in America:
"Just a generation ago, if you had religious doubts but lived in small-town America, you had no one to talk to. You had to keep your ideas to yourself and stay in the closet.

"Now, thanks to the Internet, you can connect with virtual communities of secularists all over the globe. In this day of instant information, any bizarre claim by religion [or anything else] can be instantly Googled. In many cases, the sites debunking religious claims will be in the top few hits (e.g, Scientology). Anyone with just a bit of curiosity or doubt, especially among the younger generations, can find things in just a few seconds that I never encountered in years of reading and searching when I was young and questioning my family’s Presbyterian faith.
No shit. Add to that paranormal bullshit artists like von Däniken and Berlitz as well. Astrology and the Bermuda Triangle. Debunkers were in short supply back then. (Skeptic)

Your Safety Last—click for story
Ex-Baltimore cop sees the light:
“...sitting in the van and watching people just living their lives, I started to see that these were just people. The main difference is that as a white kid growing up in my neighborhood, I was never going to get arrested for playing basketball in the street. I was never going to get patted down because I was standing on a street corner. There was no chance I was going to get a criminal record early on for basically being a kid. 
"When you watch people for hours and hours like that, you start to see the big picture. You start to see the cycle of how these kids get put in the system at a young age, often for doing nothing wrong, and how that limits their options, which pushes them into selling drugs or other crime. You start to see that they never had a chance."
Washington Post

Boy does this refrain sound familiar:
'But what if your dog or cat doesn’t tolerate BARF World pet food? Not to worry. Some may exhibit brief symptoms of “detox,” like diarrhea and vomiting, but this is normal, especially when converting from a “processed diet.”
'BARF World also sells a lot of other CAM stuff for your pet, such as Kefir and “Eastern Medicine” herbal supplement formulas. For example, “G.I Tract Herbal Formula for Dogs,” “harmonizes the stomach,” and, as an added bonus, “helps maintain contentment during travel” for dogs that have digestion issues, as well as those who “don’t want to travel in a vehicle.” You can even get a consultation with a “holistic” vet.'
Science-based Medicine

Another day, another doomed victim of cancer + quacks:
'In addition, I did 4-5 coffee enemas per day. The vegetable juices act like magnets, pulling toxins out of the cells and into the bloodstream. The body's entire blood stream filters through the liver once every three minutes. With so many juices, my liver was capturing and managing a lot of toxins. The coffee enemas force the liver to open up and release its' accumulated toxins. I learned pretty quickly that the coffee enemas were a good thing. If I went too long without one, I experienced abdominal pain or headaches. [like caffeine withdrawal?] My Gerson doctor said the pain was caused by toxins in my bloodstream pushing on nerve endings. Once I took a "coffee break", the pain went away. (We began using the term "coffee break" consistently in our home after we learned that our two and four year old daughters were running around the neighborhood telling everyone that mommy was in the house doing coffee enemas)’
Yeah, that was a long quote but MAN (*facepalm*). She’s doing the infamous “Gerson protocol”, among other things.
'In the alternative world [aka the "not real world"], doctors realize it's not stable cancer cells that kill people, it's proliferative, active cancer cells that kill. So, if I could keep the disease stable, I could live a very long life.’
Curing Myeloma

Eddie Van Halen on oral cancer:
“I used metal picks -- they’re brass and copper -- which I always held in my mouth, in the exact place where I got the tongue cancer,” he says. “Plus, I basically live in a recording studio that’s filled with electromagnetic energy. So that’s one theory. I mean, I was smoking and doing a lot of drugs and a lot of everything. But at the same time, my lungs are totally clear. This is just my own theory, but the doctors say it’s possible.”
Right. (Billboard)

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Our Wacky World—6/16/2015

Update to my previous post: Some Russian government types have been pwned by that satirical article.

'We already wrote this morning about the ridiculous claims by The Sunday Times that Snowden's documents had been either given to the Russians and Chinese or that they had cracked the encryption to get them… One of the links we pointed to was Glenn Greenwald himself challenging many of the claims in the Sunday Times
'Many people have been asking if the Sunday Times will say anything about the myriad problems with the article, and we now finally have a response. And it's...  to send a DMCA takedown notice to Greenwald's publisher'
Wankers. (TechDirt)

More info at The Register.

Not a wanker
"How did the gays and lesbians get us in such a lock-grip where we accept to whatever they do to us now as just another incremental destruction of our civilization? It started with the seat belt...”
Right Wing Watch

Sick of "the fags" "taking away" your “marriage" “rights"? Get a divorce, in Jesus’ name:
"The Christian couple have been happily married for over a decade, have no intention of separating and hope to have more children. a novel protest against any successful move to legalise same sex-marriage in Australia, Mr Jensen wrote... that they are prepared to divorce.”

Here’s Nick’s original statement—I had trouble getting it to load but it’s an amusing read (hint: he’s a wanker)

Anyway, that’ll show ‘em. There is, however, one little snag in their highly-principled protest which they may not have considered:
“ apply for divorce [in Australia] you have to prove that you have been separated for 12 months, and there is no reasonable likelihood of resuming married life. While you can live under the same roof and still be considered ‘separated’, you need to provide evidence that married life has broken down irreparably.

"Given that Nick and Sarah have as publicly as possible said they’re going to still refer to each other as ‘husband’ and ‘wife’, are going to try to have more children together and that for all intents and purposes, their lives will continue unchanged as a de facto couple, I’m pretty confident they have zero chance of getting a divorce."
Courier Mail

'In a February talk at the Montana Bible College about how to find "godly purpose" in work, Gianforte explained why retirement isn't consistent with biblical teachings. "There's nothing in the Bible that talks about retirement. And yet it's been an accepted concept in our culture today"' 
'"The example I think of is Noah," he continued. "How old was Noah when he built the ark? 600. He wasn't like, cashing Social Security checks, he wasn't hanging out, he was working. So, I think we have an obligation to work. The role we have in work may change over time, but the concept of retirement is not biblical.”'
Hey, let’s play that “what does Leviticus say?” game one more time, shall we? Wanker. (Huffington Post)

Some good news—Purveyor of “Miracle Mineral Solution” (aka bleach) found guilty:
"According to the instructions for use that Smith provided with his product, nausea, diarrhea and vomiting were all signs that the miracle cure was working.”
Justice News

Meanwhile, in the U.K.:
"Police and trading standards have been alerted to the plans for a two-day ‘seminar’ organised by the Genesis II Church, which has been accused of claiming that its Miracle Mineral Solution (MMS) - banned by the Food Standards Agency - can cure diseases such as cancer, HIV and malaria."

'Undercover reporters infiltrated a meeting hosted by Mr Kishon in Sussex last month where he was filmed advising a cancer patient that his post-treatment check-ups were "unnecessary”.’
Get Surrey

Pregnant women with WIFI have priority
'Research involving a former brain-eating tribe from Papua New Guinea is helping scientists better understand so-called prion conditions such as Parkinson's disease and dementia. "This is a striking example of Darwinian evolution in humans, the epidemic of prion disease selecting a single genetic change that provided complete protection against an invariably fatal dementia"'

"Not all psychopaths are criminals. They are in business, government, academia and media. You'll find lots of these people, but they're not committing criminal acts. They will take advantage of people.”

Just experimenting on the troops, nothing to see here:
'...participants were provided eight shots of rum in 10 minutes. About an hour later, they were allegedly injected with ketamine. intoxicated participant received a penile nerve block, a type of anesthesia... 
'"I have been working in trauma centers for 30 years and I have never done a penile nerve block," said Dr. Mark Brown, an emergency room physician in Lancaster, California. "And why would you ever mix alcohol and drugs? It's very puzzling.”'

"Two ultra-Orthodox Jewish schools have backed down on a proposed ban on mothers driving children to school after the Equality and Human Rights Commission warned them that it was unlawful and discriminatory.

Professional fake psychic James Van Praagh has a new old racket:
"In this once-in-a-lifetime online certification course, James shares the tools you need to deepen your gifts, become a clear channel for readings, and create a fulfilling, successful spiritual business. 
"Now's the time to finally become the masterful psychic or intuitive you've always dreamed of being - all from the comfort of your own home!"
Did you notice that he’s not actually in the lotus position? Hell, even I can do that. Wanker. (JVP School Of Mystical Arts)

English as a second language
Scott Walker, quite possibly America’s lamest governor (now that Sarah Palin is out of office):
"Governor Walker and his allies in the Madison statehouse have found one corporate sector where they’re willing to raise taxes: bicycles. Though they have beenhesitant to consider boosting taxes on gasoline or vehicle registration fees, state lawmakers have been pushing a $25 tax on the sale of all new bicycles in the state...”
Crooks & Liars

Meanwhile, the business-friendly paradise that is Wisconsin is dead last in creating new businesses. But there’s a silver lining in the cloud, and that’s the sweetheart Milwaukee stadium deal that Walker’s fellow conservatives are all… uh, well:
'Perhaps most mortifying for Walker is that the plan is being publicly panned by the Wisconsin chapter of Americans for Prosperity. It was AFP that came to Walker's aid when his anti-union legislation sparked massive rallies and protests in 2011 and again when Walker came close to being ousted from office in a recall effort. But Wisconsin's AFP chapter is vociferously dumping on the stadium deal. 
'"The current deal is based on fuzzy math, complicated accounting and millions of taxpayer dollars," AFP state director David Fladeboe said last week. "This proposal needs to be rejected and the people of Wisconsin need to be protected."'
Mother Jones

And then:
"The lawyer representing six protesters who won a combined $44,830 in damages from the State of Wisconsin earlier this week believes the total cost for unconstitutional arrests and fines handed out by Capitol Police since 2011 could ultimately run over $1 million."
Crooks & Liars

Walker turns up, having done something else stupid, virtually every day. He’s really on a roll. I’m sure the Koch bros. will pour millions into his (hopefully equally lame) presidential campaign. Wankers 2016!

Click for more

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Our Wacky World—5/30/2015

Man with very small penis outraged by new Mad Max film (that everyone else is raving about):
"men in America and around the world are going to be duped by explosions, fire tornadoes, and desert raiders into seeing what is guaranteed to be nothing more than feminist propaganda, while at the same time being insulted AND tricked into viewing a piece of American culture ruined and rewritten right in front of their very eyes."
Umm, it's Australian, semi-dude. Probably didn’t like Aliens, either. (CNN)

'Calling the Obama Administration’s actions against the soccer organization “weak and ineffective,” Senator John McCain on Thursday proposed military action to “dismantle and destroy FIFA once and for all.”’
(hint: satire) New Yorker

5 Ways Atheists Argue Their Cause (That Aren't Helping):
'Once upon a time, Richard Dawkins was the closest thing the world had to a pope of atheism. ...But then, slowly but surely, he revealed himself to be an asshole.

'A movement that's supposed to be about rational thinking has fallen into the same "vagina emotions make chicks a bunch of crazy broads" trap as your friend who got into the pick-up community and reeks like an Axe factory. You can't claim to be a proponent of science and reasonable thinking, only to regress to hacky sitcom stereotypes about women being humorless harpies who bring sexual assault upon themselves.'
It just goes downhill from there. And as with any good train wreck, you just have to look. Over over 2700 comments the day it was posted. (Cracked)

But will it learn grammar?
Another hip-o-crit taken down—steamy screen grabs aplenty:
"The married father of five from Midland, Michigan doesn’t just preach Jesus’ love and help with bake sales. He also uses his position of authority and respect in his community to broadcast his self-loathing view on same-sex attraction."

"When I first had to confront my wife with these types of issues, I would confront her, and then just leave the sex to happen another night, because after all, I like most men don’t prefer to have sex with my wife when she acts grumpy about it. But I realized that the sex still needs to occur, that sex is not about being in the mood, and it is not about feelings, it is about doing what is right… God wants us to do the right thing, even when we don’t feel like it."
♬ "Fuck 'er one more time for Jesus, fuck 'er one more time... " ♬ (Butterflies and Wheels)

Wishfool thinking from Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker:
'Walker argued that when Reagan fired air traffic controllers (from the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization) over their illegal strike, he was sending a message of toughness to Democrats and unions at home as well as our Soviet enemies abroad”… "Similarly, Walker believes his stance against unions in Wisconsin would be a signal of toughness to Islamic jihadists and Russia's Vladimir Putin.”'
Huffington Post

Republican candidate Walker's qualifications for office
'In his new book The Gluten Lie: and other myths about what you eat Alan Levinovitz examines the diet myth phenomenon from a refreshingly different viewpoint. 
'The same memes keep repeating. Good vs. evil. Natural vs. manmade. Magical thinking: you are what you eat. The scary technology of the modern world vs. the idealistic Eden our ancestors supposedly enjoyed (they didn’t!). Evolutionary “Just So Stories” that convert what we think our ancestors ate into what we should eat or argue that since evolution didn’t equip us with sharp fangs, we shouldn’t eat meat. ...Clean, pure, virtuous foods vs. “unclean” forbidden foods, toxins, and sinful indulgence. We are being manipulated for profit by evil big corporations to the detriment of our health. Subconscious Puritan values kick in: if it’s pleasurable, it must be bad. Religious-like mantras divide the world into simplistic binary categories. Following the strict guidelines of the in-group proves you are a good person. Moral and religious vocabulary is inappropriately applied to scientific questions.'
Sound familiar? (Skeptic)

Obamacrats doom man to blindness—wring hands, bitch & moan, etc.:
'...after 10 days of an unrelenting headache, Lang went to the emergency room... He says he was told he’d suffered several mini-strokes. He ran up $9,000 in bills and exhausted his savings…. 
'That’s when he turned to the Affordable Care Act exchange. Lang learned two things: First, 2015 enrollment had closed earlier that month. And second, because his income has dried up, he earns too little to get a federal subsidy to buy a private policy. Lang, a Republican, says he knew the act required him to get coverage but he chose not to do so. But he thought help would be available in an emergency. He and his wife blame President Obama and Congressional Democrats for passing a complex and flawed bill.'
Apparently going blind hasn’t helped him to see things any better. Just think, with Republican support they could have passed a better bill…which is, in fact, a true statement. (Crooks & Liars)

‘...a pair of sociologists are putting what they call the “final nail in the coffin” of the much-criticized study by University of Texas sociologist Mark Regnerus that purported to show that being raised by gay and lesbian parents harms children.

'By eliminating suspect data — for example, a 25-year-old respondent who claimed to be 7’8” tall, 88 pounds, married 8 times and with 8 children...and correcting what they view as Regnerus’ methodological errors, Cheng and Powell found that Regnerus’ conclusions were so “fragile” that his data could just as easily show that children raised by gay and lesbian parents don’t face negative adult outcomes.’
Right-wing Watch

Thanks to Pam Geller for all the recent traffic on this blog:

pamella geller satanis