Sunday, September 22, 2013

Our Wacky World—9/22/2013

Wonderfully ambiguous headline: "Brain-eating amoeba girl leaves hospital"

Click for info
Lots of trigger-happy loons running around lately. Lots of stupid statements, including the spectacle of Alex Jones claiming the Navy yard shooting was a false flag operation aimed at taking him out. I was going to give him the coveted Most Fucked Argument/ Excuse/ Explanation/ Completely Irrelevant Aside Award™ but screw it, he's always saying shit like that. Far more interesting is watching the Republicans in the House slide into utter irrelevancy as they try to stop Obamacare/distract everyone from the silent death of any immigration bill.

A teaching moment on eBay:
"THIS AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 ONE DIRECTION TICKETS IN SYDNEY OCTOBER 25th. You can thank my daughters self righteous and lippy attitude for their sale. See sweety? And you thought I was bluffing. I hope the scowl on your bitchy little friends faces when you tell them that your dad and i revoked the gift we were giving you all reminds you that your PARENTS are the ones that deserve love and respect more than anyone. And your silly little pack mentality of taking your parents for fools is one sadly mistaken. Anyhow. Your loss someone else's gain who deserves them! THE TICKETS ARE SEATED IN ROW O section 57. REMEMBER AUCTION IS FOR ALL 4 TICKETS and will be sent registered post 
"...OH YOUR FRIENDS THOUGHT THAT A FEW PRANKS CALLS WOULD PUT ME OFF SELLING THE GIFT WE BOUGHT FOR THEM for YOUR BIRTHDAY because YOU all LIED to us about sleep overs so you could hang like little trollops at an older guys HOUSE????? Pffft!! I find it HIGHLY amusing that you girls think you invented this stuff. Tricks like this on OUR parents is how HALF of you were conceived .....And why a lot of your friends DONT have an address to send that Fathers day card to!!! I'm not your friend. I'm your MOTHER. And I am here to give you the boundaries that YOU NEED to become a functional responsible adult. You may hate me now..... But I don't care. Its my job to raise a responsible adult..not nuture bad habits in my teen age child"
The last time I looked (before it was taken down) it was up to AU $36,000.00.

Great obit:
"Marianne Theresa Johnson- Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Sept. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit."

An Indian-American woman wins the Miss America pageant—cue the terminally ignorant assholes on Twitter:
"Miss Arab wins Miss America and the score of the Seattle/SanFran game is 5-0 at the half? What is life?"
You knew they'd work football into it somehow, right? (Buzzfeed)

I feel safer already after visiting their web site:
"Black Ops Protective Agency is a full national firm especializing [sic] in all aspects of executive protection, investigations, security services and threat management agency with emphasis on personal threat concerns, random crime, residential privacy issues of every description. Our core approach, techniques, and training methods are based upon law enforcement and military model of discipline, proactive and precentative [sic] executive security. Our agents are the most qualified personnel with intensive background in law enforcement, military and protection services."
Note how the text doesn't fit on the pages. Note the poor writing. Did they pay someone to design their site? (Black Ops)

"An eight month old baby is recovering in hospital after a monkey tore off one of his testicles before running away and eating it."

"Wedding delayed in Brentwood after man cuts off testicles"
Brentwood Weekly

A different kind of yeast infection:
"...the team searched the man's belongings for liquor and then isolated him in a hospital room for 24 hours. Throughout the day, he ate carbohydrate-rich foods, and the doctors periodically checked his blood for alcohol. At one point, it rose 0.12 percent."

"Feminist" "natural" "abortion":
"Muscio, who is very clear about her opinions on 'Western medicine' (she at one point refers to it as 'that smelly dog who farts across the house and we just don’t have the heart to put out of its misery'), eventually gets pregnant again, and this time she tries something else:  
"'I started talking to my girlfriends. Looking to my immediate community for help led me to Judy, the masseuse, who rubbed me in places you aren’t supposed to rub pregnant ladies. She also did some reflexology in the same vein. Panacea told me where to find detailed recipes for herbal abortifacients and emmenagogues. Esther supported me and stayed with me every day. Bridget brought me flowers. Possibly most important was the fact that I possessed not one single filament of self-doubt. With that core of supportive women surrounding me and with my mind made up, I was pretty much invincible.'"
Brute Reason

She's lucky to be alive after all that shit. Be sure to read the linked article, "The terrifying history of herbal abortion medicines." Yet another reason why clinical abortion should be legal.

James Randi weighs in on psychics and the polygraph:
"The blatant fact is that not a single spy has ever been caught by a polygraph screening exam."
Yep. (eSkeptic)

Paid liar for the Bush Admin. Dana Perino is sooo tired of atheists:
"Beckel noted that what the lawyer didn't say was that you don't have to say the Pledge if you don't want to. Dana Perino said that she was 'tired of them' and recounted how, when she worked in the Justice Department, a similar lawsuit 'came through' and before the day ended, the Congress passed a resolution to keep 'under God' in the Pledge. She said that 'our representatives have spoken again and again, and if these people don't like it, they don't have to live here.' (Same could be said for all those Christians who oppose abortion and gay marriage?)"

Because "our representatives" always do what we want them to. And they believe that they're winning when they're losing. Take Rand Paul for instance:
“Does anybody remember Charlie Sheen when he was kind of going crazy…And he was going around, jumping around saying ‘Winning, winning, we’re winning,’" Paul said. "Well I kind of feel like that, we are winning. And I’m not on any drugs.”
Yeah, his terminal disconnect with reality comes naturally. (NBC)

"Is there a blow torch under North America that causes rare, but deadly, earthquakes? Some geologists think they might have found the buried track of just such a hotspot from Missouri to Virginia."