Monday, July 22, 2013

Our Wacky World—7/21/2013

Orson Scott Card is still an ass. Oregon has a state microbe.

Mr. False Equivalence, Howard "both sides do it" Kurtz made some choice remarks during his final appearance on CNN (he's moving to Fox). No quotes from me. Read it for yourself. He's the poster-child for the crypto-journalism that reigns today. This self-proclamed "media watchdog" is just another asshole-enabling douche.

The voice of white supremacy:
"Zimmerman's defense attorney, Mark O'Mara, remarked that if his client were black, 'he never would've been charged with a crime.'"
Huffington Post

Short memory
"...if my vagina could shoot bullets it would have fewer regulations on it"
Margaret and Helen

"Shouting 'Hail Satan!' to abortion protesters is both ludicrous and meaningless," said Gilmore, who's led the Church of Satan since 2001. "Only attention-seeking fools would do so."

It's official:
"When political correctness takes over the beer advertising industry, the terrorists have won," said Watters, who is better known for his job as a producer on Bill O'Reilly's Fox News show. "I mean, this is absolutely outrageous!"
Crooks & Liars

"More than 70 members of Congress were polled and 99 percent of them did not know –- even roughly speaking –- how many nuclear weapons the United States has. Also, 95 percent could not think of any situation in which the United States should use nuclear weapons."
Occupy America

Guess who's been banned in the UK:
"Pamela Geller and her partner in Islamophobic hatemongering Robert Spencer have been banned from entering the United Kingdom. This has sparked a predictable flurry of whines from Geller, who uses the word 'jihad' a lot to scare people but really has no clue what it actually means."
Crooks & Liars


Sorry for the long quote but this is so superlative any editing would be a crime against comic insanity:
"Many mystics, philosophers and spiritual teachers agree that the key to our evolution as a species lies within our DNA. If all strands of DNA were active, we would have 12 strands. According to some, each strand correlates with a different dimension of consciousness, or a different perspective by which we can experience this reality. Those who study and practice DNA activation techniques say the 2 basic DNA strands keep us at a very dense, physical structure and perspective of reality, but as we activate more DNA, our bodies change to become less dense and more ‘full of light.’ This state can be recognized in beings known in spiritual and religious traditions as ‘ascended masters’ with glowing halos and radiant skin. As evolution in consciousness occurs, and DNA ‘turns on’ it is speculated that this would mean a transformation from a carbon-based matter body, to a silica-based, and finally a crystalline liquid-light pre-matter state body, where the body would glow with light. According to sources, most of us have approximately 3-3.5 strands activated, allowing for the experience of only three dimensions of reality."

3~3.5 strands of DNA active? Reminds me of the time a friend of mine was told that there are two demons in every six-pack of beer. Does that mean every can of beer contains 1/3 of a demon?

Along similar lines:
"Apparently, they invaded my body from animals or from dirt. They used to eat plants; but because the plants have been genetically modified, the bugs now eat us. I also have a type of worm in my blood vessels. These creatures come in couples — with the female living in the male body. What’s more, I have an overabundance of vitamin C in my kidneys and an inflammation of the sciatic nerve caused by a plasma virus. Plus, my prostate gland is infected by a brown mushroom and my red blood cells are a little too big because of microbacilli released by plants in my office or from eating fruits that weren’t washed properly. I also have a viral infection in my right eye and my muscles don’t work properly because mushrooms have grown roots and tangled the muscle strings."
Montreal Gazzette

Click for more info
"Julie Redfern suffered seven years of being able to hear her eyeballs move and the blood move through her veins in a rare hearing condition. The receptionist, of Padiham, Lancashire, had to stop dining with friends because she could not hear them speak over the sound of her own chewing. ... [she] also had to cut out crunchy foods like apples and crisps because of the loud noises they made."

They start them young in Sparta, er, Belgium:
"The police's reaction was caused, in part, by reports from other diners at the club, who said Neijens's black backpack made him look like a "terrorist." As for the baby, Detective Harding reportedly told Neijens that, "In Sri Lanka, babies are used by terrorists.'"

"There was some distress in the classroom as a number of children collapsed after they were asked to colour in pictures of sexual organs"
The Local

Amusing prank
"The landlord, David Salkin, asked the ATF to pay to cover damage to the building and unpaid utility bills. ATF supervisors in Milwaukee and regional headquarters in St. Paul refused. When Salkin pressed his case, an ATF attorney warned him to stop contacting the agency or it may be considered threatening a federal agent."
JS Online

"EDA's CIO, fearing that the agency was under attack from a nation-state, insisted instead on a policy of physical destruction. The EDA destroyed not only (uninfected) desktop computers but also printers, cameras, keyboards, and even mice. The destruction only stopped—sparing $3 million of equipment—because the agency had run out of money to pay for destroying the hardware."
Ars Technica

"We've heard Pandora complain it pays too much in royalties to make a profit. (Of course, we also watched Pandora raise $235 million in its IPO and double its listeners in the last two years.) But a business that exists to deliver music can't really complain that its biggest cost is music. You don't hear grocery stores complain they have to pay for the food they sell. Netflix pays more for movies than Pandora pays for music, but they aren't running to Congress for a bailout."

Spending the hard-earned cash