Oh, and some woman from the UK died, too.
|See you in Hell|
Now that all the important news is out of the way, there was a bombing in Boston. Cue the assholes on Twitter. Cue the conspiracy theorists. The inevitable call for torturing a US citizen (note the comments). OK, so they didn't actually use the word "torture" but we know.
Let's see—how far is Boston from Mexico?
Chalk up another one for some idiot terrorists:
"We know that al Qaeda has camps with the drug cartels on the other side of the Mexican border," Gohmert agreed. "We know that people are now being trained to come in and act like Hispanics when they're radical Islamists. We know these things are happening, and it's just insane to not protect ourselves and make sure that people come in -- as most people do, they want the freedoms we have."Crooks & Liars
"Dzhokhar and Tamerlan's motive—or motives—is still unclear. But that's not the only unknown. Many of the Tsarnaevs' actions last week seem baffling in retrospect. Here are some of the most confounding things they did..."Mother Jones
What does the rest of the world think?
"So for those of you keeping score at home – locking down an American city: a proper reaction to the threat from one terrorist. A background check to prevent criminals or those with mental illness from purchasing guns: a dastardly attack on civil liberties. All of this would be almost darkly comic if not for the fact that more Americans will die needlessly as a result. Already, more than 30,000 Americans die in gun violence every year (compared to the 17 who died last year in terrorist attacks)."Guardian
"An analysis this year by Mayors Against Illegal Guns found that 'in states that require a background check for every handgun sale, 38 percent fewer women are shot to death by intimate partners.' Six times more women were murdered by intimate partners than by strangers in 2010. A study published in the Journal of Urban Health in 2002 found that women were 4.9 times more likely to be murdered by a gun in states with high gun ownership than in states with low gun ownership."Atlantic
|Big noise from North Korea|
The Scooter Store™ finally got nailed (I've been waiting a long time for this to go down):
“Hermann Goering saved my life.” (amazing):
"Those investigations came after a scathing investigative piece by CBS News about the company. Former salesmen and doctors who prescribed chairs in the past explained the company’s tactics: contact doctors’ offices incessantly to wear them down and convince them to prescribe scooters and power chairs whether the patient really needed one or not"Consumerist
"The defendants assigned premature babies with low birth weight varying oxygen levels by 'the flip of a coin,' without disclosing the risks to their parents... The parents claim their children who were born or treated at The University of Alabama-Birmingham Hospital suffered permanent neurological and vision damage, and that other babies died as a result of the study."Courthouse News
“Hermann Goering saved my life.” (amazing):
"...go into the desert or some other remote place, and shine a flashlight or laser at any light they see in the sky. If it appears to flicker back, that counts as an instance of interstellar communication... I once spoke with a fellow at a UFO meeting who had been through Greer's 'training,' and he was very impressed by it. He explained that, at first, he could not see any of the ET craft that Greer was talking about. But as the training progressed, he learned how to perceive them." (not so amazing):BadUFOs
"...the eel reportedly chewed through the man's colon, perforating his large intestine, and became stuck in his body cavity. Medical team members reportedly said the eel, which was 'simply trying to find its way out,' was alive when removed but died shortly thereafter. According to The Sun, the man is still recovering at the hospital and might face animal cruelty charges."Huffington Post
"My invention easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users. It will not take you into the future, it will bring the future to you."Telegraph
"...the FDA eventually concluded that the lab's violations were so 'egregious' and of such a 'pervasive nature' that studies conducted there between April 2005 and August 2009 might be worthless. About 100 drugs, including sophisticated chemotherapy compounds and addictive prescription painkillers, had been approved for sale in the United States at least in part on the strength of Cetero Houston's tainted tests. Stone said he expected the FDA to move swiftly to compel new testing and to publicly warn patients and doctors.
"Instead, the agency decided to handle the matter quietly, evaluating the medicines with virtually no public disclosure of what it had discovered. It pulled none of the drugs from the market, even temporarily, letting consumers take the ibuprofen and other medicines it no longer knew for sure were safe and effective. To this day, some drugs remain on the market despite the FDA having no additional scientific evidence to back up the safety and efficacy of these drugs."Atlantic
"The state announced yesterday that it has dropped its bid to privatize the state’s prisons because none of the four companies that wanted the job showed they could meet court-ordered requirements for inmate care... The private prison companies also proposed wages and benefits that are half what security staff at the prisons earn now"Concord Monitor
"I am a guy that is becoming a pink disposable feminine pad, and later on I will be pressed against a soft vulva for a woman's period. I'm looking for more open-minded friends who are comfortable about this fate for me. I have wanted to become a pad since I was ten years old."A Feminine Pad
"Wise Media is accused of placing unauthorized $9.99/month charges on wireless bills for so-called “premium services” that sent text messages with horoscopes, flirting, love tips and other information."Consumerist
"The archbishop of the Washington diocese said Easter Sunday that he was concerned that Catholics would be shunned for opposing same sex marriage -- and that it was gay and lesbian Americans who need to "make room" for the very people discriminating against them."Crooks & Liars
This was either a brilliant Poe or the most clueless shit I've ever read:
"Suzy's mistake, it seems, was interpreting the advice 'Just be yourself' literally. Like perhaps someone told her, 'Applying to colleges? Ah, just be yourself,' and she accepted this as an instruction to pursue no activities other than being herself.Gawker
"Being yourself is not a talent. If you worked two full-time jobs all the way through high school and one of them was 'being yourself' and the other was 'trying your best,' you actually worked zero full-time jobs. It's important to make time for yourself, of course, but you should be making other things in addition to that. Like goals and plans and effort."
This one's for real:
"DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events."Gawker