Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Happy Anniversary

Well it was almost ten years ago that the Grand Debacle began. The peace, I mean. The war, the easy part, started ten years ago today. I'll jump the gun by thanking everyone ahead of time.

A big round of applause for Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Bremer, Wolfowitz et al for the most expensive clusterfuck in memory.

And that other guy—what was his name? Haven't seen him lately. Umm, uh... oh yeah, the fearless leader of glorious New Iraq, his royal highness Ahmed Chalabi, bullshit artist extraordinaire.

Special thanks to Curveball, without whose expertise at fooling the CIA (but not the Germans) the United States would now be under Islamic rule.

Last but not least, the ultimate thanks to Saddam Hussein, without whose direct responsibility for the 9/11 attacks and huge cache of WMDs the neo-conservatives would never have had the excuse they were praying for.

My condolences to all the dead: Iraqis, coalition personnel, Phil Donahue's TV show and especially the bin Laden family. Let us pause for a moment of silence in remembrance of Colin Powell's reputation and take one final piss on the desiccated corpse of enabler-in-chief Tony Blair's career.

Thank "Bob" Iraqi oil paid for the whole thing. We needed the money after George W. Bush cut taxes during a war. (OK, so he cut them before the war but he didn't put the money back...)


"I sit in the darkness of my own device / and search my soul for paradise"—Roz Williams (R.I.P.)