Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Our Wacky World—1/11/2012

After a long hiatus the Denialsim blog is back in action. Check it out for some superior anti-denialism.

It looks like the US military are taking "non-lethal" weapons seriously <roll eyes>. And you know that your local police dept. will need one of each, too. Because people smoking pot are so violent.

"According to local lore, Christ didn't commit any miracles while residing in Shingō, but instead was just an extremely pleasant fellow to be around. Additionally, the Takenouchi documents further detailed humanity's extraterrestrial origins, the history of Atlantis, and how the Sawaguchi family of Shingō are actually the descendants of Christ."

I love that verb, "commit". Commit miracles. Along similarly cracked lines, are you ready for...the great Japanese earthquake/nuke disaster conspiracy?
"This is a massive report. If you have troubles understanding it, just look at THIS picture of the vanished reactor, THIS picture of the destroyed facility and THIS picture, of Magna BSP's camera. Then scroll down to the photos of the NON EXISTENT quake damage and seismic charts which prove there was no 9.0 and therefore the very real tsunami could not have been natural. The fact that what happened in Japan did not occur naturally has been very well documented by a skilled investigator, who spent hundreds of hours getting to the bottom of this story."
Note the various fun topics in the sidebar. Another suitable case for treatment. (Jim Stone, Freelance Journalist)

Guess who said this?
"A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby.  However, he should not penetrate vaginally, but sodomising the child is acceptable.  If a man does penetrate and damage the child then, he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life.  This girl will not count as one of his four permanent wives and the man will not be eligible to marry the girl's sister...
 ✂. . .
 It is better for a girl to marry at such a time when she would begin menstruation at her husband's house, rather than her father's home.  Any father marrying his daughter so young will have a permanent place in heaven.
... girl prisoners who are virgins must be raped before execution, to prevent them from entering heaven.  A Guard conducts the rape the night before execution.  The next day, a marriage certificate is issued by a mullah, who sends it to the girl's family, along with a box of chocolates as a wedding gift."
Australian Ethniko Hellenes

Just another asshole from a long line of assholes. The site appears to be concerned with the enemies of Hellenistic (Greek) paganism or something like that. There's quite a bit of amusing stuff there.

Along similar lines:
Ceci n'est pas un avertissement
"But it seems now that even this little necessary allowance for vision is offensive to the pious men of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. According to Daily Mail, the suggestion that women should cover their eyes too in public came after a pious member of the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice fell to the wiles of a woman with "sexy eyes" as he walked innocently down a street. According to the story, when the man's eyes strayed in the direction of alluring female eyes, the husband took offense. A fight followed in which the man with straying eyes was stabbed twice in the hand."
Of course it's all the woman's fault. (Digital Journal) But let use not forget the children:
"A teenage boy underwent "unimaginable physical torture" before being drowned by his sister and her partner because they believed he was a sorcerer who was practising witchcraft... After being denied sleep and food and having being repeatedly attacked, Kristy admitted to being a sorcerer in the hope that the violence would stop. He finally begged to be allowed to die."

Officially, the White House says Obama never went to Mars. “Only if you count watching Marvin the Martian,” Tommy Vietor, the spokesman for the National Security Council, tells Danger Room. But that’s exactly what a secret chrononaut wants you to believe.

"The Republican party in Iowa reminds me of a patient with a terminal disease (Romneyitis) desperately turning to alternative medacine. They’ve cycled through homeopathy (Bachmann), naturopathy (Cain), chelation (Perry) and aromatherapy (Paul). Now they’ve hit the final frontier—urotheraphy. I’m glad that I’ve never been so desperately ill that I’ve contemplated drinking my own piss, but I can imagine what it might feel like if I consider the level of desperation needed to vote for Rick Santorum."
Balloon Juice

They've run out of not-Romneys and it's only January. Meanwhile, the GOP in New Hampshire has gone completely insane:
"All members of the general court proposing bills and resolutions addressing individual rights or liberties shall include a direct quote from the Magna Carta which sets forth the article from which the individual right or liberty is derived," is the bill's one sentence.
Here's a line from the Magna Carta:
"No one shall be arrested or imprisoned upon the appeal of a woman, for the death of any other than her husband."
Concord Monitor

"This egregiously obscene amount was a reduction of 50 percent from the $11.4 million he trousered in 2009, because he missed performance targets. MIssed [sic] performance targets? Like what, not running the company into the ground? Kodak lost $442 million in 2008 and $210 million in 2009 against revenues of $9.42 billion and $7.6 billion respectively. How can you be that strong in a revenue sense, know your core market is in decline and still make losses because you don't cut costs enough?"
The Register

Trouble in Scientology-land:
Ceci n'est pas un avertissement
A rare expression of internal dissent has broken out in the world of Scientology, with one of its most senior figures sending a mass email to 12,000 fellow members complaining that the self-styled church has become obsessed with fundraising and has amassed unused reserves of over $1bn (£640m). ...the Church of Scientology dismissed the email, saying: "Ms Cook's opinions reflect a small, ignorant and unenlightened view of the world today. They are not shared by the thousands of Scientologists who are overjoyed by our 27 new churches and what they mean to the communities they serve."

"A man whose bid to become a police officer was rejected after he scored too high on an intelligence test has lost an appeal in his federal lawsuit against the city. The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New York upheld a lower court’s decision that the city did not discriminate against Robert Jordan because the same standards were applied to everyone who took the test."
The punchline? He's now working as a prison guard. (ABC)

"...she had a habit of not bringing enough of the special rolls of paper used to chronicle the proceedings. At Chaviano’s trial, she again failed to capture the trial on paper, according to a courts spokeswoman. Afterward, Cowart erased the data from the stenography machine’s memory disc, but not before transferring it to her computer. But then a virus struck her computer, wiping out all her notes."
Miami Herald

"In that room, Truong will admit to suffocating her son. She'll be arrested and she'll spend almost three years awaiting trial for murder. But a videotape that police made of that interrogation...will eventually set her free. That videotape provides a rare look into the interrogation room, and the potential power it gives detectives to coerce false confessions."

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