Sunday, October 9, 2011

Our Wacky World—10/9/2011

The Register is having a Quote of the Week contest. My favorite entry is from someone disappointed with the launch of the iPhone 4S:
"I shave my balls for this?"
Meanwhile, Apple Computer co-founder Steve Jobs has been "Steved" and everything is coming out of the woodwork:
After a number of groups pointed out the irony, [Westboro Baptist Church leader ] Phelps continued to tweet, typing, "Rebels mad cuz I used iPhone to tell you Steve Jobs is in hell.God created iPhone for that purpose!"
Just last year they picketed Twitter (Huffington Post)

Don't they know that every time they use an iPhone or Twitter they're casting evil spells on themselves? And that every time they log on they're inviting demons into their homes? Satan laughs.

"Steve [Jobs] caught his very early, and should have expected to survive much longer than a decade. Unfortunately Steve relied on a naturopathic diet instead of early surgery. There is no evidence that diet has any effect on islet cell carcinoma. As he dieted for nine months, the tumor progressed, and took him from the high end to the low end of the survival rate.":
Skeptic Blog

'Despite the expert consensus on the value of surgery, Jobs did not elect it right away. He reportedly spent nine months on “alternative therapies,” including what Fortune called “a special diet.” But when a scan showed that the original tumor had grown, he finally had it removed on July 31, 2004, at Stanford University Medical Clinic.'
'Jobs was relieved that, as he put it in that 2004 email, he did “not require any chemotherapy or radiation treatments.” He took that as a sign that the surgery “got it all,” as every cancer patient desperately wishes to hear. In fact, any surgeons who say they “got it all” should be slapped'
They Daily Beast

Of course, anti-medicine kooks know it was the conventional treatment that actually killed Jobs:
"It is extremely saddening to see the cost in human lives that modern society pays for its false belief in conventional medicine and the cancer industry in particular. Visionary Steve Jobs died today, just months after being treated for cancer with chemotherapy at the Stanford Cancer Center in Palo Alto, California. In recent months, he appeared in public photos as a frail shadow of his former self. The thin legs, sunken cheek bones and loss of body weight are all classic signs of total body toxicity observed in chemotherapy and radiotherapy patients."
Respectful Insolence

This week in Toilet Law:
"And so we have the latest innovation in law school fleecing technology. Now you can apply to a law school on your iPhone. Because this is really the kind of decision you want to make as quickly as possible…."
Above The Law

"The communion wafer in question developed a brown spot in 2008 after falling on the floor during a Mass in the eastern Polish town of Sokolka. Two medical doctors determined that the spot was heart muscle tissue"
I thought transubstantiation was supposed to occur in your mouth, not on the floor. (Sun-Times)

"My dh and I added Christian Domestic Disciple to our long and happy marriage earlier this year. We had a couple of bumps along the way, mostly due to our lack of experience combining CDD and my dh's arousal during spankings. Some of the HOH in the Yahoo! group helped him understand that this is normal/natural and suggested that he try to separate that from the spankings. Mostly successful, so far."
So he gets it up when he's spanking his wife, what a surprise. (Jesus' General)

"Al-Qaida has sent a message to the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, asking him to stop spreading conspiracy theories about the 9/11 article published in the latest issue of the al-Qaida English language magazine, Inspire,...described Ahmadinejad's remarks over the 11 September attacks as "ridiculous"

Alabama's new anti-immigrant laws are working just as well as the ones in Georgia— everything is rotting on the vine:
[Farmer] Leroy Smith...challenged the senator to pick a bucket full of tomatoes and experience the labor-intensive work. Beason declined but promised to see what could be done to help farmers while still trying to keep illegal immigrants out of Alabama. Smith threw down the bucket he offered Beason and said, "There, I figured it would be like that."

"He was arrested a few months ago and charged with 41 counts of mail fraud, wire fraud, conspiracy and money laundering. He was accused of defrauding 220,000 people out of a staggering $52 million. They were told that by selling his vitamins, they'd earn more money than they actually could. So Lapre scammed his customers twice: first, by falsely claiming his vitamins were all but miracle cures, and then by falsely claiming that if people beneath him on his pyramid scheme sold them, they'd get rich. 
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Lapre committed suicide yesterday while in jail waiting for his trial to begin."

You can never attain a high enough level of of a religious lunacy for some lunatics:
"I am aware of the forces supporting "Answers in Genesis", these being the same powers that are supporting similar multi-cultural anti-Christian organizations such as Alpha, Promise Keepers, The Full Gospel Businessmen's Association, Billy Graham ministries, producers of many modern Bible versions, and a multitude of other ministries. These forces are the anti-Christian powers seeking One World Government under man, not God."
Dispatches From The Culture Wars

Former U.S. Attorney General Alberto "I don't recall" Gonzales finally found a job—at an unaccredited law school no one's ever heard of:
“I thought it fitting and most appropriate to recognize a man of his stature and accomplishments in the legal profession at the opening of the new law school at Belmont University”
Turley's Blog


Anonymous said...

What the Alberto Gonzales reports don't mention: this "chair" and "unaccredited law school" were probably the result of a right-wing billionaire making a large donation to Belmont--with political strings attached. It wasn't created with Gonzales in mind, but he just happened to be "available".

It's Alberto's reward for being a dedicated neoconservative, and taking a torpedo for the "movement". Like the Mafia, they look after each other.

unkL FoddY said...

Re: Pastor Don Elmore's attack on AIG: This is why I don't stop the car between Lexington and Covington.