Our Wacky World—6/7/2011

Mystery solved

I just can't get enough of the Sarah Palin freak show:

"Effective immediately, there is zero tolerance for on-screen errors," the memo said. "Mistakes by any member of the show team that end up on air may result in immediate disciplinary action against those who played significant roles in the 'mistake chain,' and those who supervise them.

Crooks & Liars

Here are some hi-res photos of the above. Meanwhile:

"Palin’s two-SUV caravan traveled at 52 miles per hour in a 35 mph zone as it peeled away from the hosts’ neighborhood. Both cars blew through a stop sign about a mile later. They did 70 mph in a 55 mph zone on I-95 — and then, after they got off, without signaling, flew right past a flashing sign informing them they were going 45 mph in a 35 mph zone."

Politico

"It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value... the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:

Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases."

Tamil Brahmins

"For the last three years the man had been held captive in a brick-and-tin shed... The marks on his arms weren’t the tell-tale signs of heroin addiction; they came from where his captor, a ruthless modern-day vampire...named Papu Yadhav, punctured his skin with a hollow syringe. He had kept the man captive so he could drain his blood and sell it to blood banks."

Wired

'At home, the punishment for feminine behavior would become more severe. The therapists instructed Kirk's parents to use poker chips as a system of rewards and punishments... red chips, given for effeminate behavior, resulted in "physical punishment by spanking from the father."

...the spankings were severe. Maris remembers "lots of belt incidents." She escaped the screaming by going to her bed to "lay in the room with my pillow on my head." Later, she would go to Kirk's bedroom and "lay down and hug him and we would just lay there, and the thing that I remember is that he never even showed anger. He was just numb."'

CNN

"The five-year-old daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has $150,000 worth of footwear in her closet, according to news reports published today. But $150,000 on shoes is small fry compared with the rest of the youngster's wardrobe, which is believed to have a value of $3.2million."

If this sounds familiar it's because I've posted about the Cruise family's child-rearing practices before. I can't wait until she hits puberty. (Mail Online)

Here's a handy list of false quotations from the Bible that Bill O'Reilly should read. Too bad the author screwed up on this part:

"The scripture never says a whale swallowed Jonah, the Old Testament prophet, nor did any New Testament passages say that three wise men visited baby Jesus, scholars say."

Amateur. I'm not a "scholar" but I know the Bible better:

"And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh."

It takes a while to travel to Bethlehem, especially when you stop by Herod's palace along the way. The part about the camels is pretty dodgy, too. (Matthew 2:11)

You don't have to be a "Christian" to join Alcoholics Anonymous—except in Toronto:

"On Tuesday, Toronto’s two secular AA groups, known as Beyond Belief and We Agnostics, were removed or “delisted” from the roster of local meetings. They’ve disappeared from the Toronto AA website and will not be in the next printed edition of the Toronto directory."

The Star

"Buscetto said since water started flowing in the whale fountain last month, police and fire officials have been called for people urinating, defecating and washing themselves off in the fountain water. He said some people who have cut themselves have also used the fountain to rinse off blood."

The Day

"The couple both face charges of scrubbing two boys' bodies and teeth with a wire brush, force-feeding them after shoving their faces into plates of food, chaining two boys together with a metal chain and making them sleep outside at night."

NZ Herald

Hate 3D movies? Wear 2D specs. Half the murkiness with only 2/3 of the dimensions.

Almost exponential