Our Wacky World—6/15/2011

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Asshat cartoonist  Scott Adams strikes again (read all of it; it gets stupider as it goes along):

"The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. "

Pharyngula

"A 780-year-old religious relic of the patron saint of lost causes and missing objects was stolen from a Catholic church on Monday, just hours after it was put on display to commemorate the feast of St. Anthony"

MSNBC

"Oregon's Portland Water Bureau is draining an 8 million-gallon reservoir after surveillance cameras caught a man urinating into it this week."

Like birds don't shit in it every day. (CNN)

Here's what losers do on Facebook:

Eley posted this message on her Facebook wall: "I will pay somebody a stack to kill my baby father." Bynum allegedly responded to Eley on Facebook: "say no more," "what he look like?" "where he be at," "need dat stack 1st," and "ima mop that bull."

ABC

And:

"Joanne Fraill, the juror who admitted contacting an acquitted defendant during a drugs trial, has been sentenced to eight months in prison"

The Register


And then there's the specter of leaving an embarrassing trail on the Internet—forever:

"The company sent me some of those examples of what’s previously turned up in applicant background checks: a job seeker who had an Internet photo featuring him holding multiple guns and a sword, another who was a member of a “racist” Facebook group (“I shouldn’t have to press 1 for English! Learn the language”), and a third whose Internet footprint indicated drug use, including membership in a pro-Cannabis 2012 campaign and Craigslist ads seeking OxyContin."

Forbes

Rush Limbaugh becomes the latest celebrity with a vanity beverage—and it's not vodka:

"It's only sold and 12 packs and there's no returns. We're not idiots," Limbaugh said. "You're not going to want to return this. You're going to want to chug it. You're going to regret you didn't order more after you taste it. And you're going to keep the bottles. We spared no expense. The labels are works of art. The shrink wraps are works of art. You're going to take this shrink wrap off with great care to save it."

Crooks & Liars


Man's best enemy:

I dare you to click on this

"...it’s not an accident that some of the most brutal and cruel, demonic tyrants of history loved animals. It’s not an accident. It’s not an accident that Adolf Hitler was almost never seen without his dog, who he was petting constantly. Loved his dog!"

Right Wing Watch

'The original 1955 film featured the dog's name 12 times as the codeword used to report the successful breaching of the Möhne and Eder dams. Fry said: "In the film, you're constantly hearing 'n-word, n-word, n-word, hurray' and Barnes Wallis is punching the air. But obviously that's not going to happen now. So Digger seems okay, I reckon."'

The Register

"The doctor pushed a tube through Condé’s nose in order to force water and the emetic directly into his stomach. This made him throw up a small ball of cocaine which...was sufficient evidence on which to charge him.  But the doctor repeated the procedure...even after he had personally called an emergency doctor because Condé was no longer responsive."

The Local


Hey kids, it's time for Tea Party summer camp with your chief counselor, Ayn Rand:

Charming couple

'Children will win hard, wrapped candies to use as currency for a store, symbolizing the gold standard. On the second day, the "banker" will issue paper money instead. Over time, students will realize their paper money buys less and less, while the candies retain their value. "Some of the kids will fall for it," Lukens said. "Others kids will wise up."'

Weird Load

Boffo