Friday, January 14, 2011

Patently insane

I've seen plenty of wacky patents over the years. Here's a hilarious series of books on the topic:
But then today this showed up (transcribed verbatim, mistakes in original):

[0008] It is another principle object of the invention; to provide the present Human Community, being sadomasochistic by nature; (re: cruel world, death and taxes; master-slave; cop-robber; landlord-tennant; schoolmaster-pupil; boss-worker etc.); with a more fun and better, self-supporting prolonged Child Culture having Robot Parents and energy sources to empower the same; (re: Man and machine), the inventor believes that this is the next progression in Human development, wherein government makes its own tax es from gold coins tansmutated from neutron bombarded lead and engineers a sort of made-made heaven; wherein the work is play and fun, inpart. Psychoanalysis shows that the 3 main issues that human beings deal with are issues of 1) Power, (food, heat, etc.) 2) Sex Gratification, (creation of children) 3)Security from Death. (religion takes anxiety, relief, peace ect.) because they have survival value. This invention attempt provide human beings with issues; (1)Power, and a little more of issue (3)Security from Death.
Another suitable case for treatment. Click the images to see the entire pages. Just glancing through the whole thing I see what appear to be nuclear reactors and vacuum tubes.

Along similarly disturbed lines, here's a classic from the 90's—the famous "the world's most mentally ill resumé:

Another schizophrenic wandering the streets of America. Note that I had to go to the Wayback Machine to find that one.

Are you a crackpot inventor? Take the test.

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